i have been think alot about this lately.. the people you depend on are the people who let you down the most.. and the people that you loved the most are the ones who are able to do the most damage when they hurt you.
once, not too long ago.. i was sumone who was not afraid to show my anger when i am angry. im still not afraid. but as we mature, we learn not to repeat mistakes of the past. poly has seen the best of me so far.. not that im at my best all the time.. but i try to control my temper.. i have never shouted to show my anger at anyone.. not that i can remember.. only once i suppose..
well as we mature, we realise that not everyone are on the same frequency as us. we have to understand others as well. but to think that some people are just plain taking advantage of you.. its just seriously screwed up. and the people are the ones that you are most likely to depend on wen u are down. they are the ones that find you wen they have relationship problems..
who am i to you? just a place of santuary you run to when you are between a rock and a big pile of shit? why am i the one to notice when sumone is depressed or down.. but they can never tell if im quite alright..
you say that im important in you life but you place more significance on your friends. it hurts to be second best. but thats the truth aint it.. no point in feeling hurt.. cos in the end this is how things are going to be. when im hurt or depressed, doesnt it occur to you that i need sumone ard. but in the end, i have to swallow my pride and sms u first. i tell you, it wont be long till i die of suffocating on my own pride.
you cant even put aside you ego. two can play dis game. you can stop being a manipulative and egotistical person. if you persist then we'll see how dang stubborn i can be shall we. compromise my ass. you are not even willing to give for a change.
i may not be as tempremental as i was back in secondary school.. but i can damn sure get pissed of.. and mind you, you have never seen the bad side of me..
