martini kisses_______*

2007-03-12T23:18:00.000-07:00

School's been out for abit now and im slacking at home when im not called for camp. Last week was a blast. Making friends and meeting new people were definitely a plus. And to think i lost a whole lot of weight during the three days at Ubin.

Many things happened during the last few months that i had been on hiatus. great thing was, i can't remember a lot of what happen. Except for my oh-so-memorable trip to KL. im super duper lazy to update it here. So a'll know the drill if you guys want to know. Ring me up..!

Haven been meeting up with the besties for soo long can? i shall wait patiently for dearest fadzie to get back from KL and the three of us will slack somewhere and update each other.

ouh yes. and for a lovely person out there. All i have to say to you is...

I do not need advise from a social basket case. Please do not attempt to use words you do not understand, let alone pronounce. Alright. Spare us normal human being for abit. I would love to recommend you to a wonderful shrink but then you'll get all crazy on me. We all know just how easily you fall into you fugue stage whenever you fight with your darling boify. But seriously dear, you need to get a grip. Do not lash out at people like that. Its normal to fight with your boyfriend. Its NORMAL, hon.

Don't stress yourself about other people. You must stop pretending that everything is okay. Quit stuffing yourself with pills hokay. God knows they only harm you in the long run. I mean it is okay to be jealous of someone else dear. reallie. Espcially if you only have tits the size of MOSQUITO BITES. and no matter how low you try to bend down it has no effects whatsoever on your puny, microscopic boobs. Im sorry. I do. But you honestly do not have to start pointing your fingers at others. check out your own pictures for god's sakes. Stop trying to use words that you will choke on. I mean hney, everyone knows you need your faithful thesaurus to find out words to make your English look immaculate. And you bookmark dictionary.com to help you when you need to post up an entry.

Why don't you look for a good English tutor. I wonder what you teach those kids with your horrendous language. tsk tsk tsk.

2006-11-19T05:04:00.000-08:00

im deperately trying to recover from all the running and exercises i did last week. NAPFA is just around the blardy corner and i don't even think i am ready for it. plus... the fact that i have gained tonnes of weight.. i shall starve myself to death to now huh?

urgh..!! seriously i have the darnest urge to shut this blog. every single thing is getting on my nerves and i don't even have the slightest idea why. i get irritated easily and all i want to do is just bury myself under the covers, sleep and not wake up..

welcome.. depression..!!!

2006-11-14T07:21:00.000-08:00

last week was a blast. the whole week was fun and it passed by rather quicky..

tuesday:
it was my birthday. i had lunch with thebf and the climbers. the darling boy of mine wore his striped Springfield shirt. i like. sooo smart. additional brownie points for him cos he got a a nice birthday pressie. after school was the highlight. we went to Shaw to watch Step Up premiere with Dada and Herman. Nice movie with very cool moves. Some of my classmates sang me a birthday song in the theatre. embarrassing but lucky it wasnt that loud to begin with.

After the movie we had dinner at Burger King. Dada and Herman surprised me with two oreo cheesecake. i like. and i had the parents' permission to go home late. cool ryt..!! once in awhile.

friday:
school was a drag as usual on the last day of the weekday but i bumped into nabilah m. on the way home. actually she tapped me on the shoulder. so we ended up talking for about 45 minutes at the interchange catching up on intersting stories. she one helluva crazy girl. but i am too. so all is good.

sunday:
it just so hapen that our first anniversary fall on the day the put aside for the climber's ray outing. thebf was late so we reached noor's house abit later. we hired a coach to ferry the 36 climbers to and fro. they were karaoke-ing in the bus. and making lots of noises. im not exactly in the mood or have the energy to update every single thing that happen that day.

but... many of the climners were meeting their partner's parents for the first time and that included.. ME..!! ouh my goodness i was sooo scraed, i was quiet. and you rarely find me sitting so quietly by myself.. hahah. but really. why was i sooo terrified? well a few hours before this was what happen..

imran's mom: erm.. which one of you is ain?

climbers: there..!! (all pointing towards ain who looked like she might faint any moment now)

imran's mom: ouh.. later must help me in the kitchen arh..

ain: errrr.. (stood up to approach the mom but ends up hiding behind imran)

that was scary okay. i was lauging larh, cos it was the parents were darn funny and the moment will forever be etched in our memories. but honestly, it just scared me about what might happen later wheni reaxch the bf's house. but that's not all larh. Farhan Arab wanted to tell his parents about sarah jean toh ming ler.. haha and he was pretty spooked out thinking about his parents' reaction. this was how it went..

ndiah: an.. have you told your mother yet?

Arab: haven larh. i scared hokay..

ndiah: hehe.. really.. (evil look)

Arab: yalarh.. y?

ndiah: (talking to his mother) errr.. auntie.. ouh auntie..

farhan was freaking out really bad.. he strted running towards me to cover my mouth or sumthing.. and just as he was about to reach me.....

ndiah: auntie can i please use your toilet?

ahahaha.. classic. it was super funny. i knew he would give me hell later at thebf's place but i couldnt help myself larh.. really. in the end he did tell his momsy..

arab: errr.. ma... that one sarah..(pointing towards sarah)

his mom: (addressing the climbers in general) i know.. you all think i dont know? im his mother. of course i know this will come.. you never tell your dad..

arab: FFUUUYOOHHH..! (i swear he almost fainted at this point) i tell oredi..

and this got the climbers laughing their very heavy butts out.. another classic moment.. but the worse was to come hokay.. thebf's house was the last house and i was terrified hor. after more than a year with him, lat sunday was the very first time i met his parents. after salam-ing his mom..i kinda tried make myself disappear by sitting ever so quietly beside the sofa.. but nooooo...!!! the climbers just have to make me suffer a bad heart attack..

wak: erm.. auntie.. do you need any help?

friz's mom: no.. nevermind.. you all sit first.

wak: ouh auntie cos nad can help you. but she hiding here.. (pointing towards ME..!!)

i swore i could have peed in my very pretty baju kurung hor.. the rest of the climbers were laughing so loud and joining in the teasing.. at this point thebf was in the kitchen with his mom.. i dun kno exactly what happen but im sure he must have told his mom about me.. cos the next thin gi kno..

khai: nad.. oh my god. the mother is lookignt his direction leh..

ndiah: not funny hokay (practically on the verge of tears)

Khai: i swear to god nad.. ouh shit.. the mother asking for you oredi..

ndiah: i dun want. scared larh..

Climbers: eh go larh..

izan: nad like very rude like dat ryt..

so yes i got up and went into the kitchen to introduce myself and offer help.. but she said it was fine.. things were ok larh.. until i was waiting for my dad to pick me up and thebf insisted that i waited at his place.. cos izan was offering to wait with me at the void deck. golly.. so i was alont with his parents, thebf himself an dhis youngest brother who wanted to play games with me..

it went fine i gues.. im just not used to this kinda routine.. meeting the parents and such. but yeah.. thanks b.. i know i can breathe now.. hahah

2006-11-06T07:21:00.000-08:00

a good start of the week i must say. first and foremost, i need to give a HUGE shout out to my lil bro..

HAPPY 14th BIRTHDAY ISKANDAR HAKIM...!!!!

that was on sunday.. and today..

HAPPY 10th BIRTHDAY NURUL HUDA..!!

thats my youngest sis.. and tomorrow..

HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY NADIAH KAMSANI..!!!

yesyes.. its freaky to have our birthdays in running order like that. but we got used to it.. hurhur.. well todae i had lunch with thebf and he act cloack back in late just to spend time with me... sweet kan.. eeee...!! iloike..

then we had out hotdogs and chatted for quite some time.. and we ran into a perverted scumbag who was looking at our direction the whole time.. if that stooopid on of a gun hoped to catch us in action... he was wayyy dissapointed.. like WTF????

we were merely talking and was laughing away.. trying the foot reflexology path and talking about our day when that asshole kinda killed our evening by turning freaky.. and i swore he followed us..

im sorry.. that was the PMS talking.. but then we were pretty freaked out.. the intentions was to catch up and we ended up spooked out by a psycho.. my god..

so yeah. tomorrow will be looking forward to having lunch with the bf and also going to watch STEP UP.. haahah.. uber cool... ireallyloike..

bb..!! iloveu.. and i missu too

2006-11-05T01:00:00.000-08:00

hari raya has been a-okay i guess. i havent had the mood for visiting cos school has started and it took th fun of celebrating the festivities. m still stuck on the LIME commercial. i have no idea what to do and it seems like my brain refuse to function.

will be quite free to plan and execute my other projects.. and if any of you have wonderful ideas, please come forward and hlp me..! i need a story idea for a LIME commercial and also a story idea for my individual script project.. pfft..

next week will be fun. i find myself looking forward to it.. monday, i have plans to have lunch with thebf and after school plans with him. tuesday... MY BIRTHDAY will be spent with lunch at school, followed by attending the premiere of STEP UP nce he clocks out.

wednesday we will have a nice picnic lunch.. ouh.. and he'll meet me on thursday for my music lect and send me back home.. nice week to spend with that boy.. and im eagerly waiting for it.. ouh yes.. and sunday will be our 1ST ANNIVERSARY...!!! woots..

well so long then, till i have the energy and mood for another entry.. muacks.. and huda you are not fat hokay.. get a grip woman..

2006-11-03T09:23:00.000-08:00

ok what the hell.. im pretty buzy with school. scratch that.. make it darn busy. yes, with the amounting pressure to complete assignments and having to pay attention to four hours of studio time. im easily distracted. i have a memory of a chicken..

but MY BIRTHDAY'S COMING.... woots!! i loike.. and i got myself a pair of premiere tickets to go watch dtep up.. i've already watch it before.. but going with thebf on my berfdae is something to look forward to..

having been updating much.. and i dont expect to see myself duing it either. ouh whatever..! im just glad that blogging helps fadzie and huda keep up with my life since they are barely anywhere near me anymore.. pfft... and now akak reads oo.. yeah-ness..!

law lecture and tutorals are like a ride around Japan in a bullet train.. not that i have been to Japan.. and yes.. i have not been on a bullet train before.. im just trying to describe the speen and intensity of the subject.. sheesh..

im missing thebf.. and bf IF you are reading this.. you slept while sms-ing.. AGAIN.. how could you?? bleargh....

2006-10-31T23:29:00.000-08:00

when i was suppose to get to wake up a tad bit late and use tody to catch up on my law tutorial readings and prolly start on my TV commercial proposal and my script.. i have to wake p as early as usual and drag my sorry butt to the mac lab for a 2 hour make-up session of script writing. ouh darn. at least ms kumaran is a kick-ass and funny person.

had breakfast/lunch with dada at long john silver before heading home. im supposed to head over to school for training but with the rain pouring down and the thunder clapping.. i just lost my motivation. im pretty darn scared of thunder and the worse thing that can happen to me is being caught in a thunderstorm without company.. i get very jumpy..

supposed to meet thebf at rock today and i find it hard to bing myself to the gym.. it raining, a good nap would do me some good.. bleahx..

imissu.. sooo very much...

2006-10-31T07:15:00.000-08:00

urgh.. the secind week of school is barely over and i ind myself swamped with work. projects are such a killer.. my goodness.. good news is dada already has idea for one of our new packages.. so thats one down and five more to go..

lunches for the past two days has been with thebf and the climbers.. im darn tired plus there's training tomorrow.. ouh darn.. going home waayy early still does not take the edge away from the muscle aches.. grr..!

and i have to go to school tomorrow for two hours.. i cant decide what to wear. always a problem.. and im dead beat.. ouh please.. there's so little time and waayy oo much projects to do.. wth..

ouh wells.. goodnight.. sweet dream..

2006-10-29T07:28:00.000-08:00

well hello. raya has been good so far with alot of the relatives coming over to my house today. its all cool.

in actual fact i have no idea what to blog about and i do not actually am in the right state of mind to blog. im hungry you see. grrr..! im bored out of my wits and i already have tonnes of projects to think about. tmr i shall have to start printing out notes and try to stay awake during all of my classes. i try.. no school on wednesdays, but i tybk im up for project meetings anyhow. whats the use?

ouh wells. things to look forward to tomorrow:

lunch with thebf

climbing

climbing with thebf ard.

it just make things better hving him around.. really. i like.

after the fasting month ended, we normal humans who are prone to err have the tendencis to start bitching again. i shall refrain i thank you. practice the continuity of my self-discipline. hurhur. really, i find it hard not being able to really say what i want here and now cos i want to change for the better. hopefully!

i dn want to be bitchy no more larh. just content being my normal self around the people who are close to me. i think i shall adopt thebfs way of life. if you dont know people, dun talk. unless they know you well, then they are allowed to see the real you.. mysterious kan? hahh.. iloike seh..

ouh wells? can i do it? try larh eh.. nanti thebf confirm sae somethig abt this one.. im not blur kodok k. or blur whatever.. but iloveu.. uber much.. MUACKS...!!!!

2006-10-26T10:28:00.000-07:00

i can still find the time to blog amidst the panicy feeling that i am having right now. my heart is constricted every single time i think abut the report. ouh dear.. at least i am soon going to hit the minimum of 10 pages so i can relax a wee bit.. just a tiny bit hokay.

i climbed awhile just now. while waiting for music lecture to start at 6. and i sucked. thats for sure. whatever larh. i think i am going to have to hang the climbing shoes for good soon. still cant except that fact but i shall try to hold on for as long as possible can?

depressing..

thebf was with me for music.. haha. i got company. its fun. he makes fun of my lecturer's italian accent. i mean the guy is cute larh.. hahah. but the way thebf repeats the strange accent over and over again is wayy funnier. dinner at macdonalds before he sent me home =)

i wont get to see him for another three days. it suck balls i tell you not to be able to meet you bf eventhough you are in the same school. pfft.. i shant even start you know.

digressing.. some guys in school are super duper irritating. they stare at people like its not rude in the first place. STARING IS RUDE HOKAY..!! plus the fact that i could have sued them for all they are worth for starting a staring incident. rawr..!! boys are so immature and i can bet you cookies that those guys were in year one. whatever.. please do not stare. they teach you this in primary school even. im sorry but its just plain rude.. i started to think i grew horns on my head or something.. grrr....!!!

so yes. lesson learnt. never stare. though its tempting. be discreet hokay. have some finesse in the things you do. and yes.. not meeting your bf sucks.. blueargh.. though phonecalls can make you feel better =)

iloveu b. truckloads, bucket loads, pails loads.. and whateverloads..

2006-10-25T11:05:00.000-07:00

i drank too much oke and now i am up at this god forsaken hour tying to remember marketing concepts to incorporate into my SIP report. it is due at 5pm on the 27th and i am not anywhere near done. ack. make that not anywhere near halfway done..!

i just got my bed and i cant even sleep in it cos i have a blardy report to complete. im getting muddle headed and i tell you, the caffine in coke is not helping. my eye lids are getting droopy and sleep is just calling my name..

i have 2897385794 points to cover in the report and i cant seem to organize my thoughts in order. it wont help that i have music tomorrow. im digressing but at least i'll get to meet the boyfriend. he said he'll crash my music lecture with me. how sweet.. smooch..!

its only the first week of school and i already have my hands full. i still have to brainstorm ideas for 6 news bulletin. arrgh..! i can feel the stress already. oh goodnights. i'll just stare at the bloody computer screen all night if that is what it takes to complete this freaking report.

i need a listening ear.. bb..! where are you...

2006-10-25T04:56:00.000-07:00

i officially haf a hate tag.. ok maybe not hate yet.. he/she obviously is rooting for mybf's exgf.. she pretty.. i know.. i'm not hot? i kno.. heheh.. that's funny kan.. suddenly the bf tag my tagboard.. hurhur.. lagi funny.. dram drama drama..

oh wells, each person have their own valued perceptions and opinion.. and bloghopper is entitled to have his/her's..

jumping to myself now.. i have no school today, so that was good.. and the fact that my brand new queen size bed has just arrived.. double good. but i din get to meet thebf and haf our lunch together. yesterday was a looonnnngggg day. started in the afternoon and i reached home at 2 in the morning..

we have new additions to the family... woohoo.. babies..

maisha hani dania, 2 weeks old, a she (if you do not already know..!!).. my grand daughter.. honestly, my dad has 15 siblings.. so the age gap is like sooo far apart.. hahah.. trust me. we never finish visiting even when Raya ends.

zynedine yassin, 2 months old, a he.. so round and cute and chubby.. my nephew and her mother does not even reach my shoulder hokay.. i love.. named after a soccer player.. do not ask me why. the parents did not disclose..

ilhan, 3 moths old, a he also.. my nephew again.. ver snall but very chubby cheeks.. i lagi love.. wah.. can go crazy.. named after a turkish soccer player.. very hot guy.. woah..

thats the new baby roundup.. heheh.. my family has something for naming their sons after famous soccer players i tynk.. cos i have a 5 yr old nephew named Muhammad Zinadine.. masya allah.. but i like.. emre don't have arh? my sis was kinda dissapointed cos she wanted to name her future som ilhan.. she's obsessed with that guy i tell you.. but its okay.. she'll find another name..

2006-10-23T03:27:00.000-07:00

its the first day of school and already im in shock. i tell you the workload will b a bitch this semester. look beyond the slack-ish timetable and you will find me slogging to complete my projects. scary.. but whatever. like always, i'll just find the energy and time. even if that means forgetting about my sleep. pfft.. the stresses of the media industry.

on a higher note to day, thebf sent me home today. i kinda bullied him huh. he was having a break till 2. so why waste a perfectly good 3 hour break all by himself when he can send me home. sayangu...

its been like a few days since i last met him but its ok. we have the whole of this sem to lepak all we want during our breaks. kan b? kan kan kan?

i shall go and findthe strength to go do my report before i get muddle-headed after raya..

SELAMAT HARI RAYA..!!
MAAF ZAHIR DAN BATIN PPL..!

2006-10-21T11:27:00.001-07:00

friz: i wna fall in love wif u lagi

ndiah: reali? y?

friz: bcoz its u dat i love..

ndiah: i wished we could go back to d tym wen we both were just frens and du it all over again..

friz: yeah! me too..! Gd nyts yang..!

ndiah: nyts baby..!

***

isnt he like soooo swit? grrrr..!

2006-10-20T11:31:00.000-07:00

terawih with dear nabilah again. for those blessedly ignorant, terawih is special night prayers held on the month of ramadhan. now you know hokay. so the both of us decided to ditch our nice kurung for jeans and long sleeved shirts. i swear it was sooo hot in the mosque that my li sis was sweating bucketfuls.

she was pretty well-behaved. awesome. after that we continued our rampage of trying to wreck our brains of secondary school memories. darn fun. of course we ended up talking about some people. same old same old. fun as it was we kinda thought about all the hipocricy and years of friendships based on pretense. and to tynk dat some fools were hate tagging when their identity was known all-along. hahaha.. now THAT was funny. curious as i am about what this people do in their free time, i do not think i want to know. right? lets just pretend everything was normal like always..

i am under the impression that thebf is 'merajuk-ing' with me. i din reply his sms-es immediately, cos i was busy doing errands. gosh. sorry dear. he even rejected my call. marah seh he with me.

talking about that boy. who's bloghopper ar? and what's with the ex?

2006-10-19T11:27:00.000-07:00

todae was great.. but yesterday was fabulous.

i 'chopped' thebf yesterday. you know howit is. thebf has a social life that will put pairs hilton and nicole richie to shame. rawr. so what the hell. i made sure i made a reservation to have me all by myself yesterday. im selfish that way. i needed company to get my raya shoes and bag and he was my first choice of company. went to lavender to extend thebf's passport before travelling to wisma and got a nice pair of white heels to go with the dear pinkish baju kurung. i swear i do not see the need for heels. what the hell for? have you seen me? or how talllll i am. for a girl im like towering over most people i know already. the list includes my beloved family.

went every where trying to find a nice clutch to go with the whole raya outfit. smart bf wanted to breakfast after everyone has. so we just had a large iced lemon tea between us and then ate at Rose garden. divine food with thebf. i could be contented to stay that way for a loonggg lloonngg time.

to cut the long story short. thebf was mine for the day. a loonnnggg bus ride home with the darling was all we needed to unwind after the tedious chore of being my butler.. hurhur.

and today he tagged along for me to get my cheque from werk.. $620 baby. woots. and again thebf was beside me. fun fun fun. terawih with nabilah was damn cool. we picked up where we left and gosh i tynk she's not eating enough. ack. soooo skinny tau. im glad we met. total crap and loud laughter. crazy.

im just glad to have good people around me. iloveit. b, iloveu alot hokay.

2006-10-16T03:34:00.000-07:00

hokay im am in a pretty lazy and couch potato-ish mood today. i have decided to get my raya shoes today. going out with thebf. pfft.. i shall not even begin to articulate how irritated i am with that boy hokay. i shall spare you your ear. well eyes maybe.

im listening to sean paul while typing my report which is still not anywhere near done. but the problem is sean paul makes me daydream. notg about him but anything that comes to mind. i was thinking about ayam penyek just know. ack. i know. like no link at all.. pardon me. being deprived of sleep has severe effects on lil ol' me.

i wana climb. cos paining misses me. rawr. woman i miss you too hokay. she rarely walk home with us anymore. got bf mah. hurhur.. act me too. but cos i cant go home late this fasting month. things shall be back to where we left it before the hols.

im thingking of a new layout. how 'bout that? after i complete my logbook kae. meeting up eith the supervisor tmr to get him to sign the balrdy book so im off the hook. only left to complete the report. and im allll ready for skul. i suppose so..

2006-10-15T10:22:00.000-07:00

im awake at this ungodly hour and typing away trying not to get distracted from completing my SIP report. But you as well as anybody knows how well i get dstracted. i have an attention span of a chicken. trust me they have small brains and they dun sit well with remembering things.

now as you can see im am utterly helplessly distracted away from my main purose of staying up late. bloggin when i do not even have the slightest clue what to update about. pfft...!

apart from mummy who just happens to be up in her room watching 'Heart', im the only one who's awake in this house. and before i digress any further. please take the time to watch 'Heart'. sad, sad story about love. bestfrineds who were separated by love and death. for the sappy romantics. like myself, please do not worry. you just need tonnes of tissue by your side and leave your heart open to the possibilities of what love might bring. heart-wretching but i love it to bits. especially the sound track. by a live orchestra and that was recorded wayyy in beijing hokay.. is that impressive or impressive?

ouh yes, before i fell sock and ended up at home and having to shut my trap in order not to hurt my throat, i was out with a crazy bunch yesterdae. breakng fast at pizza hut with salman, li, liz, lajam, b and myself was never any more fun. yesyes. i miss the bunch of them. we kinda went or separate ways with the guys in NS and liz werking. pfft. im not waiting for b's turn to go to NS. yikes. and li is like spending 3 weeks in taiwan.. kesian liz.. sedih ryt. i dunoo wat i'll do without the late night sms-es and occasional meet-ups with thebf.

dinner was a havoc one with us laughing out loud. i guess we were attracting alot of attention with the laughing bits. but it was worth it. after aimlessly walking to where our feet took us. esplanade was the target and we sat there awhile. i miss this group. rock was sooo fun with them around. you can never put b, li, and white and expect a silent moment. these three just feed of each other's crazy vibe and even the littlest thing can make them laugh like mad.

company was perfect. and time spent with them was never better. esp with b around. ouh yes.. my berfdae is coming so yeah.. hint.hint.

hurhurhur.. thats was dedicated to huda.. bestie you kno wat to do and my darling bf.. iloveu b..

2006-10-10T08:09:00.000-07:00

i shall have to start by saying that last weekend was fruitfully spent with the lovelies of my life. saturday was an early celebration of huda's berfdae with the meet-up of all the young and dearly missed girls. we had alot to catch up upon. reflecting back now. i realised why they are here and have always been by my side. unlike alot of people who come and go, these girls started out barely friends with me. they were my bandmates and classmates. only after we went our seperate ways in polytechinic that i realised just how important a role they played. we are all busy humans. me especially. i mean my parents are kinda strict and i can't go out alot. most kids these days are aloowed to treat their homes like hoels where they only come back late at night and spend their days outsidde in the owrld.

my parents have always been a firm believer of growing together as a unit. and thus, explaining why i am rarely out of the house unless i need to work, go to school or have occasional meet-ups with my frineds.

huda and fadzie are as busy as me and the best part is that we dun demand the other party to drop what they are juggling to meet up and catch up. our friendship has transcend the boundaries of physical meet ups. we are the kind that rarely meet up but should the need arises, we just ring the other party and pour whatever needs to be let out. and funnily, we accept and our friendship works wonderfully this way. it amazes me but these girls are really god-sent. thanx babe.

dinner with huda, fadzie, ama, ainie and aisyah was great. tho' we just met aisyah for the first time, huda's cousin clicked with us just fine. dinner was great, but the company was wayyyyy better. hurhur. attacked geylang with a less-then-enthusiatic-attitude. toooo crowded with mats and minahs alike. but ice-cream and cold drinks brought back the craziness with a vigor. bumped into farliza and i shant describe the amout of noise we make hokay. glad that huda was happy with her present. iloveu babe.. uand fadzie are my dearest girls.

forever and ever kay girls....

sunday was with the bf.. i was glad i wore my newly bought black smock top cos he loved it.. heheh. dinner at kampung eden withthe usual then we were aimlessly walking around when we eneded up playing at the swings in pasir ris. at night.. i kno.. but i need my bf to myself sumtyms hokay. he has been shamelessly ignoring me for mizi's company.. bluergh..

i must say that i am soooo not looking forward t the time that my b gets his license. i cant ride a bike with him and i can forsee more nights where he ignores my sms-es when he hangs out with the guys. ppffttt.. MEN..!!

you might call me attention seeker or label me as a control queen but lemme ask you something.. who is in the r/s? yes me and him.. so shut that ugly trap on your face. m like competing for attention with his friends. and i tell you his social life just takes him away from me.. i hate this. everytime it crops up i end up crying and he doesnt even know about it or he just dismiss it by saying soory. but i bet you cookies it will happen again. there will always be a next time.

ilovehim and al but all this is just nonsense i tell you. im like hanging around for the time where he actually has time for me. is it fair? i have feelings too. im homan too...

2006-09-28T23:06:00.000-07:00

what are you up to? i cant help but be suspicious. im sorry im paranoid that way. well whatever. i wont waste anymore brain cells on you..

i met thebf to break fast on fridae. he picked me up frm werk to celebrate my end of SIP.. i am a happyhappy gf.. finally after more than a week not knowing the whereabouts of the darling bf i got to meet him. yesyesyes. imisshim truckloads and bucketfuls hokay.

cant wait for skol to start so i get to meet him everyday of the week. well maybe except for saturday and sunday that is. im gonna make him fufill all the lunch dates that he owe me.. rawr..

iloveu b.. mua mua..

2006-09-28T18:56:00.000-07:00

I have been updating regularly and why? cos im bored at work with tonnes to do but no mood to be productive. dash all hopes of me slaving away in front of the computer. yes. im tired and drained. rawr...

i was msging thebf barely 10 sms-es last night. i decided to sleep cos waiting for his sms took so long and by then all i wanted to do was go to lala land. cos honestly i was feeling miserable already as it is.. and i barely get to sms him at night animore. between night prayers and spending the night at his friend's, there just no way to squeeze sms-ing me. yesyesyes. im complaining larh.

sad you know. and he usually sounds distracted. pfft. makes me feel sooo unwanted. talking about it makes me depressed. nevermind. i shall shut my trap. bye..!!

2006-09-27T19:13:00.000-07:00

tomorrow is my last day working.. absolutely heaven. means can wake up a tad bit later than usual. Helping momsy in the kitchen. and more free time. i tell you working during ramadhan is truly tiring.

on a much lighter and happier note. i was online shopping yesterday. i spent a whooping $74 on 3 tops and a a necklace. i swear im falling in love with neclaces now. pay's coming in tomorrow so i can look forward to spend more.. hurhur. but i tynk i shall buy myself a new bedroom set? sounds okay?

i want a queen size bed, which i will prolly share with the lil one, a new wardrobe, and do i need a dressing table? i do not think so ryt. a study table might just do the trick. so i can do all my studying for the last semester in poly there.. uber coolness.

wow.. plans, plans and more plans. I want to paint my room apple green this year.. but daddykins wants the whole house to be in glorious white. nevermind. not as if i will end up painting anyways. but still not fair. rawr.

i am never good at baking and i do not know why? pfft. hopeless i tell you. my crispy cookies will always end up like soft and chewy instead. am i baking this year. *shrugs* but i still want cookies. maybe i shall leave all the baking to my sister and i shall just stick with cooking huh. i mean if i ever get married, cooking definitely rates higher than baking ryt?

i wonder if we will ever walk hand in hand again...

2006-09-26T22:00:00.000-07:00

maybe its just a test or whatever. But I cant take it. Not anymore. It seems that I have been treated like a punching bag yet again. False hopes? What the hell? You working right.. And I am trying to accommodate your timetable. Whats wrong with saying never mind. There’s always next time right. With that ladies and gentlemen I have been falsely accused of giving hope.

I am tired of being treated this way. You rarely have time for me anymore and I am trying to take it in my stride. But accusing me of something that I did not do is just over the top larh ok. U didn’t know that you made me cry? Hah.. well im telling it to you now. Maybe there’s so much more about me that you have yet to find out.

If you are blardy stressed out. DO NOT TAKE IT OUT ON ME!!!!!!

We can always talk. If you want to be left alone then say it to my face. I had being treated like I deserve this treatment ok.

Whatever.
Honestly whatever.
I cant swear.. so there..

2006-09-25T20:48:00.000-07:00

when i am just about to complete working at this ~~hell hole~~, suddenly i have tons and tons of work pouring in. darn it. honestly people get over yourself and hire another writer already. bunch of crap i tell you. other the fact that i can't climb this week, everything else is just a blur. fasting does that to the best of us. like when black and i were having our online convo, all our topics steered to food, and a particular rock shoe of course. hurhur.

lets forget about food and talk about how tired i am lately. yes i need company. thebf doesnt have too much spare time for me now. esp with his supp scheduled for tomorrow and the day after. weeelll.. i can keep myself occupy thank you so much for your concern. bleahx. fasting does not make me crappy. if you do not want to talk to me then stop msg-ing. get me all excited den dun want to layan me. rawr... ok watever..!!

initially i had so much to blog about. but looking at my moood ryt noe, i prolly scared my thots all away.

yeah.. happy fasting to all muslims.. and non muslims

*i kno some climbers are fasting too. lose weight and climb better they say?
**lets just experiment and find out shall we?

2006-09-23T09:13:00.000-07:00

yes.yes.yes.
ihave been meaning to change layout
just cant find the time
energy or mood.
BAH!

i read imah's blog.
and yes.
we have our emotional days in rock
during the internal comp i tell u.
many girls cry leh.
i the route judge osso abit scared

next time... plan route first.
is u cannot execute the move.
try another one.
hokay.

im still tynking abt camp.
imissthebf
which reminds me.
this will be a rather lengthy post hokay

so yeah. dere's a freshie by the name of fareez. my larling's is spelled with f-a-r-i-z.. irritatingly, people decide to tease these two. so suddenly f-a-r-i-z now wants to be called b. and most of the guys have turned their attention to my bf.. i have to share him with other 'bithces'. hahaha. Moe, Firoz, Fadly.. all want a piece of mybf. unfair. sibuk only. and all call him b. bleahx

camp was fantabulously great. grps were named after brands of climbing gears: Prana, Madrock, Black Diamond, Petzl and La Sportiva. my grp, La Sportiva won overall champion of course. haha. and i skipped work ok. b and abby all were psycho-ing me to cabut. hurhur.

i didnt regret. It was fun. but the bestest part of the whole camp was during the overnite. me and b got our sandwiches from the vending machine and ate while talking for like hours. its nice to just be in his company.

imisshimalready. i cant get to meet him during the fasting month cos he working and all. with nite prayers and whatnots going on. pfft. can i please have my b back?

2006-09-21T21:57:00.000-07:00

camp was great..
super..!!
but we didnt have a bbq..
last year we did.
super fun.
congrats to those who made it to the team.

year after year,
TPSC will get people getting attached.
when you put lots of teenagers in a small rock gym
sparks are bound to fly.
hormones rage..
and of course..
two people come together.
aaahhhhh...
love is in the air agian.
heheh..

i miss tarian..
du noe y suddenly osso.
mayb i just realize that i may be strong than most guys my age.
bleahx.
not that an appealing thot.
but too late for regrets.

oooooo
fasting month is on SUNDAY...!!
honestly.. i need to fulfill all my cravings
all before Ramadhan arrives.
hurhur.
i can strike Arnold's off my list.
went there with the familia last week..

Did i also mention that im wearing baju kurung again this yr?
eeeeee
and this year the family is going pink.
but my baju kurung is so nice
all lace and beads..
like the ones used for weddings..
cant wait for the first day.

ouh well..

2006-09-18T18:43:00.000-07:00

yes.. yes..
i have obviously every intention in allowing this blog die..
im tired. notg to update.
my life is quite the boring cycle now.

i should say that the weekend with thebf was great.
we watched monster house.
i shall not go into details on how we ended in theatre 8 instead of 7 kay.
spare me the embarrassment please.
i shopped alot however.
no surprise.
i was rich last weekend.
hurhur

sumthings in life just surprise me.
too many people are reading my blog.
so i cant disclose it.
of course i cant write whatever i want here.
i know better that people are alwaes snooping ard.

soooo looking forward to the camp tonite.
but i can only overnyt.
i got werk tmr.
crap-ness

i have obviously sinned the besties.
when are we meeting my larlings?
hehehe..
ramadhan's coming.
something to look forward to.
i love fasting.
don't you??

2006-09-11T18:59:00.000-07:00

Climb On! is officially over and i can strike it of my calendar.
w e e e ~ !
did i tell you i came in third for the speed solo competition?
yay me...
super cool i tell you.
wasnt actually expecting to win.
tho' only six girls joined.
i was fearing for my life.
i post up the vids once they are uploaded kay.
but not so near in the future larh
SIP keeping me bz.

i tynk the girls' route only went up to 7m
but it was a looong way down.
landing was kind of cool after getting used to it.
but the hardest part was to get up after falling.
the crash pad just took in all your weight
my butt was kinda 'stuck'
hahah

speed solo is harder cos you are supporting you weight up
the entire height of the wall.
gravity starting to act up
and the crash pad was chest level.
can you imagine?

cool larh.
the carnival was superb also.
TP did great i tell you.
Jo came in third.
w o o t s ~!
power...!!
me, sarah, chloe and uyanga made it to top 10..
and the boy of mine came in 6th.
sarah's bee in the top ten position too.
the guys were up for tough competition.
but still im so proud of my darling.

i just realise sumthing.
next comp, rockmaster
early next year
i will be in the open category.
shite.

2006-09-05T21:05:00.000-07:00

you think the term bitches is used to label some of the female species?
dead wrong...!!
quite a handful of the male species deserve the title too.
the fight to the very end to be labeled as a bitch.

what makes them a bitch you ask?
here's an example...

after coming close to 3 years after a break up.
they resort to using their lil sister as a link to the ex gf.
they pretend to be the lil sis.
chat with the ex gf on msn.
while doing so, they manage to display their nick as..
"asking about my n lvls aren't going to make me lyke you bitch... i hate you bitch"

well, at least something to that extend.
gosh.
yes.
you spotted it.
grammatical errors.
well, to insult others, please ensure that your english is immaculate.

those people derserve the coverted title of a bitch.
if you think i am bothered about you.
i am not.
unlike yourself.
i do not hang over what happen 3 years ago.
i have a life.
i suggest you go get yorself one.
cos apparently, your's is pathetic..
to try and insult me using your sis..
you are such a user.

dun try to push the blame on me.
hello...
you CHEATED on me...
why shouldn't i get on with life and erase you frm my memories?
gosh..

some people just forget what wrong they did to others.
but keep all the bad stuff that they IMAGINE other do unto them.
grow up boy.
if i remember correctly you are 19 already are you not?

well ok...
why don't you used up all you energy and attention to your gf.
im sure she will appreciate it..
practice makes perfect they say.
so go do good to your gf.
but rmbr..
dun blame her 3 yrs from now when you cheat on her ok..
not good.

im in a good mood now..
toodles

2006-09-03T20:50:00.000-07:00

it gets tiring when you find yourself
in a loop.
yet again...
everything makes a comeback.
especially the pain and hurt
never have i felt more inadequate as a person.
you make me feel that i'm notg and i do not deserve anything good
just so you know.
i'm a step away from giving up.
you taught me that we shld learn to know when to give up.
so yeah.
its not too far away now

2006-09-03T19:13:00.000-07:00

oh boy...
my tummy is still bloated from yesterday's late night supper.
Kallang Mcdees was rocked with laughter.
i tell you..
my family is the best larh.
combine it with Uncle's family.
you get one very kecoh gathering.

then uncle drove us around.
and we landed at daddy's work place.
he was on guard duty.
a hovercraft broke down.
so yeah.
and like the kiddies and me got to board it.

super jakun i know.
but whatever.
i was so excited.
my daddy's friend, Mr. Dollah.
he was our guide.
i was toggling around with the GPS system.
we could see all the water works of any country in the glode.

power lah...!!
and he was super nice to lend us his torchlight.
it was dark and he explained the runnings of a hovercraft.
we were loud and he didnt mind.
we took a tour around the hovercraft.
before saying our TQs
uber cool ryt.

now i cant ride in a fire engine nemore.
but a hovercraft is waaayyy better.
and did i tell you that i cost CAAS (AES) $4 million?
they will prolly get a newer one pretty soon.
which is more expensive of course.

and daddy will be taking his license..
to drive the hovercraft.
my daddy, the-soon-to-be-hovercraft-driver.
hahaha..

well, short kopi session for papa and the adults
we kids stayed in the car, very sleepy.
but, notg will keep us frm looking at bapoks.
we didnt disturb them.
just watched and peeped from the safe comforts of the car.

tho' i must admit
watching mats fall frm their bikes
that was a funny sight.
maybe they were too excited after spoting a really pretty bapok.
sheesh.

all the excitement of yesterday has left me sleepy.
crap.
but i shall survive cos i get to see my b todae
climbing.. yes...!!
im looking forward to that at least.
climbing and b just makes my day.

2006-09-02T06:33:00.000-07:00

after spending the whole day out with the boyfriend.
i'm down with fever.

early morning start .
woke up at 7 to prepare food.
my special tuna sandwich.
met up with thebf at 9.30.
withdraw molar from bank.
reach MacRitchie at about 11 plus.

can you honestly believe the whole way to the HSBC Treetop Trail was a whopping 11km.
there and back.
it was a winding path of incline.
yes.
way, way up.
gosh.
i whined most of the time.
we took 2 hours to reach the treetop trail hokay.
but it was awesome..!!

b, are you reading any of this?
hahah.
too many monkeys for my liking.
but my b was there to scare them away.
hehe. sayang u..

so yeah, coming down was waaaayyy easier. and faster too.
took 1 hour to come down.
time flies by when i start chattering.
really.....
i was talking the time away.
entertaining the both of us.
and help make the journey down abit more tolerable.

we stopped to eat the sandwiches.
but pretty soon we have a bunch of monyets chasing us.
i swear hokay.
i was running larh.
heheh.
they wanted my special tuna sandwiches and b's frozen ice lemon tea.

washed up before headin to climb asia to submit our regi form for Climb On!
yes.
too crowded.
next destination was to fill our tummy with food.
sandwiches was not enough.
ljs did the trick.

we were pooped out by then.
and now im sick.
down with flu and fever.
hahha.
yes. im weak that way.
but 11km was taxing for me.

but it was cool.
lets find something more interesting to do next time.
hmph. i wonder what?

2006-08-31T22:46:00.000-07:00

some people just never change do they.
i guess it is abit hard to expect a little good change in them.
after all these years, you are still the same bitchy person you are.

stop pretending.
don't you ever get tired of trying to be perfect.
face it you are not.
so you think everyone likes you so much.
they may and may not.
but honestly you do not have to tell me.
i do not care.

what makes you thinki can stand you?
what makes you think that i ever want to see your face?
somewhere along the way, i have realized what a liar you are.

you are such a two-faced creep.
no wonder so many people hate you.
your english is atrocious.
so stop trying to act all paris hilton and nicole ritchie on me.
we both know that i can kick your ass.
i've got brains and the muscle to do so.

a word of advise to you.
just drop the act.
alot of people knows the true you.
so you do not have to act all goody2 on all of us.
for the love of GOD.
spare us please.
we all know what a bitch you are.
do yourself a favour by returning to your true self.

your 'friends' are just plain blind to the person you really are.
or they are just like you.
take advantage of your friends to get to where you want to be.
that was what you did all along.
so many years i have seen it.
well, you really believe in friends with benefits huh.
screw you.

2006-08-31T00:15:00.000-07:00

FUCK!
stupid shit.
i hope that guy gets into an accident and die..
DIE you piece of worthless FUCK!

honestly.
text100 send over another phone to replace the bitchy N73.
ao there's this blardy flirtatious courier guy.
trying his 'moves' on me.
it didnt work so to speak.
he asked me for another blank form.
which i did not have.
thus he became uptight.
that idiot wanted to blame me for not having a blank form.
BITCH...!!

ouh wells, should he screw up.
and not deliver the faulty N73 to text100..
he will die!
i will personally see to his gruesome death..
fucked-up bastard.

2006-08-30T22:02:00.000-07:00

can i say that i miss thebf alot. abit extra since the study week began for them. i feel so utterly defeated now. i think i have a case of tummy upset. nothing seems to make my tummy feel comfy.

if anyone wants to know, i'm working on a fibre optics article for CTG. heck! i have no idea what to start writing on. pfft.

i still need to change the layout of my blog cos its too blardy similar . like a particular someoone. yucks. i'm looking forward to the weekends. my well-deserved break and a date with thebf. i to see alot of my friends and yet i do not have the time to do so.

meet-up needed to be cleared:
1. Huda
2. Huda&Fadzie
3. Liz&Dada
4. Faiyadz
5. The pri6.3 gang

2006-08-30T00:34:00.000-07:00

stupid.stupid.stupid.
just when i like a layout and start to get used to it.
someone else has exactly the same one.
i shall not divulge any further. darn.
the other nice layout is not that nice.
i have to toggle around with the html codes to make it a wee bit nicer.

yeah.
not exactly in a good mood already.
yes.
they are rushing to close the publication
everyone is stressed out.
especially me and jay.
like hello.
i do designing and magazine layout.
on top of that.
i need to write an article regarding fibre optics.
FTTx.
what do i know.

crap.
yes.
i miss the bf already.
as if i do not miss him enough already.

friday is pri6.3 gathering.
at fishermen's village.
the parental units better be in a good mood.

craving for Ya Kun Kaya toast.
and thebf.
speed solo* anyone?

ok.
two entries in a day is enough.
don't you think?
ok bye.
iloveu.

*speed solo
climbing a particular set route.
in the shortest time possible.
Think about running.
only vertical.
no ropes.
no harness.
10 metre wall.
big fire fighter-like inflatable crash pad.
loong looong way down.
falling.
the adrenaline.
the death defying fall.

2006-08-29T19:11:00.000-07:00

im deprived of sleep and fun. b-o-r-i-n-g! i should know better. i have not started on my SIP report and got all the necessary documents signed. stressful i tell you. six months of keeping me on my toes has worn me out to my skin.

i realised that i like studying. super bookworm and nerdish. whatever. i like it and i think i have always been that way. i'm just glad that i'm blessed with good brains. i wished someone would pay for me to study and i'll get money for doing something i love. nerdish but so true.

i was chatting with krystal and she knows what she will be doing after graduation. urgh. she's getting a double degree. and i have no idea what i want. its either i start working first or continue with my studies. thebf said he wanted to join nus so can see me.. hurhur. i think he forgot about his ns. but it sounds good.

ouh crap. honestly, i need to burst out of my bubble and start planning for my future. im not even panicky about the fact that i have not a single idea how i want my life to go. i better not screw up. ouh wells, i can still continue wrecking my brains over this decision.. so toodles..

p/s: i need thebf can? pppfft

2006-08-28T18:54:00.000-07:00

so near yet so far. im so counting down till the day i complete my SIP. However, the nearer it seems, the slower time seems to travel. darn. three more weeks till i'm done here. and there's the holidays to look forward too. can't wait for that. but, i wont get to see much of the bf then. he's gonna be working and for once, i will slack at home and be a full time maid for the fasting month. nothing can be more great than that.

perks are i get to take naps anytime i want to. cook, clean, do laundry, wash dishes. mop, sweep and vacuum, dust and wipe. easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy. like what we climbers like to say: own time own target. so i get to do it at my own pace. and i can look forward to climbing at night.

on a whole different note altogether, i just realise that i'm starting to be a tad bit anti-social. i find it hard to talk to people i don't know. thebf is rubbing it off on me. yeah. not too sure why myself.

ouh yes, not to mentioned that the N73 refused to switch itself on. i went to bed yesterday with the phone still on. however, this morning it was switched off and i can't seem to get it on. what a bitch. really. bitchy N73..

yes to miss bestie huda, i'm so glad that i am right once again. with her i am rarely wrong. hurhur. well, i hope that everything goes smoothly for you. and we shall have dinner at central again and talk crap like we alwaes do. kin, it was nice to bump into you and we shall catch up after your exams can? cool kan. i super canot wait to bitch about people with you.

2006-08-27T23:24:00.000-07:00

i just loove this new layout..

other than being swamped with work, nothing interesting is shaking my life right now. honestly, who on earth wants to listen when everything in you rlife is peachy. life's a bitch and most people surrounding you are worse biatches. truly.

keep close the ones you really treasure, cos once you lose sight of them, its hard to differentiate the true gems and the rejects of the authentic world.

ouh yes, i do however am holding on ot a N73.. teehee. uber cool, yes? of course, but its only a temporary arrangement. see, i need to du up a review of N73 and N90. Who else got to hold on to the other phone if not thebf. my phone is gorgeous. but i think its bulky. whatever...

climb on! is coming and i have every intention of kicking a bitch's ass. When you talk too much about yourself and start comparing with someone about your 'climbing', people tend to look down on you. sad ass bitch, she does not know what will hit her behind so hard, she will forget her name. i know you like to show off and stuff, but puh-lease, i have never seen you climb. what makes you think you can be better than anyone. wake up, missy!

i think that pretty much wraps up my entry today.

2006-08-23T19:34:00.000-07:00

there's a danger in loving somebody too much.

and it's sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust

there's a reason why people dont stay where they are

baby, sometimes, love just ain't enough

2006-08-22T01:40:00.000-07:00

Yes, I missed my blogging session yesterday. I was swamped with work, since the date to close the editorial stuff will be next week. I am really freaking out. This weekend will be the on-campus session and I have not filled up my log book. And I have not gotten my supervisor to sign anyone entry. Can you believe it?

Let’s move away from the topic of SIP for a minute while I recall my wonderful Saturday that I spent with thebf. Since we wanted to spend a day together doing something different, we headed down to MacRitchie Reservoir to hike up the tree top trail. Its called HSBC Treetop Trail by the way. Well, I was the one who had to find a way to get there of course and decided to consult the darling streetdirectory.com and to cut the loooong story short. We got lost. For 4 hours. I mean we decided to leave my place at 8.30 so we can spend more time there, like have a picnic after hiking up or something like that. And can you guess what, we only reached at noon. Horrible. But thebf could not be more supportive about it. We agreed no pointing of fingers and pushing the blame for getting lost.

For those interested, you can take 74 from Hougang Interchange and stop at the stop before Caldecott Broadcast Centre. A bit of walking is required but you can firm up your ass at the same time, so why not. Well, when we were hiking up, I got a tad bit claustrophobic and I could see a leaf shrinking. And suddenly the place looked really small to me, plus the sun was not shining and it started to rain. Thebf agreed that we could just turn back and we did, but it didn’t continue to rain so we walked the whole way back following another trail. It was more fun, truly. It was along the reservoir and we saw, a monitor lizard, some weird water spider that seemed to float on the water, watchamacallit and terrapins.
We stopped along the way and sat by the edge of the water and ate sandwiches. It was really fun. You guys should try it. The place was peaceful and tranquil. I am so looking forward to another trip there and I hope this time it wont rain and dampen our plans.

2006-08-17T19:36:00.000-07:00

I was surfing the net when I came across the article regarding the arrest of 41-year-old John Mark Karr. He was suspected of killing JonBenet Patricia Ramsey a decade ago. He confessed details about the murder that only the FBI knew about. Her unsolved murder was ranked second in the world's unsolved mysteries, only to be outranked by Jack The Ripper. That was how 'spectacular' her murder was. It whipped everyone up and to think that a child was no longer safe to be tucked into her own bedroom for bed was sensational and it scared parents all over the world. It opened the eyes of all parents about the possibility of a child being sexually abused. Pedophilia was a rare occurrence at that time. I bet no one or maybe a small number knew about the existence of such sick preference.

I was looking through her photos and she was an angelic little thing. I swear she was one of the prettiest young girls that I have ever seen. She has perfect features, really. I just touched me that someone that young and innocent was murdered. Worse still was that her family was tormented and accused as being the murderers. Even her brother who was about 4 years older then her was not spared of the media frenzy.

I learn about the media and such but to be the focal point of such media attention when you have just lost you only daughter is not what any humans deserve. Truly, I grieve with the family. If JonBenet was alive this day, she would be a beautiful 16-year-old teenage. Probably blossoming into a wonderful young adult.

However, she was not a regular child. She was a 'beauty-queen'. Beg your pardon, I do not encourage this. But, maybe the child loved being in the spotlight. JonBenet was never forced to enter the pageants or anything like that. Though I must insists that I have a definite feeling that her mother had something to do with her early introduction to the glamorous world of the beauty pageant world. Her mother, Patsy Ramsey was a beauty queen herself. Patsy passed away due to ovarian cancer in June 2006, just a few months before.

Looking at the picture above, JonBenet looks so innocent, participating in a pageant for young girls. But where will this stop? Do we know the thin border that we should not cross. She is what im sure thebf will describe as lil miss goody two shoes. And she is. but then take a look at the next photo of her...

This young lil miss was dressed up as marilyn monroe. Not exactly the person a young girl of 6 should be looking up to, let alone dress up and act as. She was a spirited girl that pranced on stage singing and acting very much like an adult with her sultry moves and "seductive" act. She is 6 for goodness sake. She shouldn't be doing this sort of stuff. She should not be associated with the words sexy, sultry or even sudective. She should be scraping her knees at the playground and still thinking that guys are the worse species ever to land on earth. But look at her now.

This picture just scare the bejeepers out of me. No harm intended but look at her. Her face is the perfect illustration of what an angel should look like. Can you notice however, how very much adult her face is? She looks like a mini me of some cheerleader with a babyface.. But i have a surprise for you guys...

Doesnt it shock you to see how grown up her eyes look? Children are suppose to be fun loving and carefree. This is the only period in time where they truly have people looking after them and making mistakes are their full time job. It makes my heart stop to see a mere 6 year old with vacant eyes like hers. this photo is haunting. You can feel her charm and enigma pulling you into the empty vortex that you see reflected in her eyes alone. What is this child thinking?

But I am sure she will always be remember as JonBenet, the lovely 6 year old in ponytails and enjoyed school so much she was dancing on the way to her first day in kindergarten. However, we grieve that she never lived to see what 1st grade was like.

It tears my heart to know that children are never safe anymore, not even in their own houses. After being hassled and beleaguered by the media, even to the point of being accused of killing JonBenet, the family was still living with the hope to see the killer being brought to justice.

John Mark Karr even had the cheek to say that he did not kill her as it was unintentional. How stupid can an adult of his age get? Intentional or not, the bottomline was bacause of his pedophilic nature a child is dead. And he even told the media that he loved the child. Yes Mr. John Mark Karr, we know your intentions for the child is not exactly as pure as snow. It must have been tarred with your lustful behaviour towards her. Stop me if I start being incoherent, but why in the world would a man of 31 years break into a house to be with the child if he loved the girl like his own daughter. Utter crap. He even confessed to bringing the child down to the basement... To do what? read her a bedtime story? Gosh.

Well,10 years after the killing, some light are finally being shone on the case again. Let us hope that the killer will be brought to justice and pay for the crimes he committed. Well, since JonBenet died at such a young age, she’ll probably go straight to heaven =) Its our believe that when a child dies when he/she has not even reach the age of puberty then they will end up straight in heaven.

2006-08-16T19:21:00.000-07:00

yesterday was fun. there was absolutely no one in the gym except for me, thebf, fir and panjang. tho' it was more of a relaxing climb, the routes were like super taxing. but the highlight of yesterday was definitely getting my hands on ben&jerry's cookie dough. thank you so much to whoever it was who came out with the fabulous idea to set up Cheers at Business school. and i ate some of thebf's nachos. yummylicious.

uncle has been insulting me cos i still haven taken my license yet. darn, im like broke now can. i can barely survive with the kind of pay i'm getting for my attachment now. next semester most prolly. and dat means tuition. sheesh. less time with thebf. not fair can. bt nevermind. cos you know the perks? yes... uncle's car will be the first i shall hijack and ride around in.. hurhur. he doesnt know.. so dont tell yarh.. uber cool. tho' i doubt he would mind dat much.. he's supportive that way.

it isnt fair that thebf does not have school today and tmr ryt. and im like stuck here at work. someone save me puh-lease... but i guess he's going school to finish up the projects. yeah, i kno whats it like. projects are bitches. especially when you have multiple projects with the same deadline.

---

i cant wait for sat...

iloveub...

2006-08-16T00:17:00.000-07:00

i have a confession to make. i like someone. actually i love someone. but what do you do to convince the person that you do. when doubt creeps in, its always hard aint it. we tend to forget but lets not take for granted what we have. so for this person that i love, i promise to watch my language and be nice from this day forth okae. unless you make me angry and shove me aside like everyone else of course.

well, when we do something for someone, we always hope something in return. thats thank you for quiting. which you better do cos you already made a promise to me. no more broken promisesok.. ive had more than my fair share. enough secrets already. not now, not when im still trying to pick myself up.

ive been waiting for time to pass me by so i get to leave the office and head down to the rock gym already. Only this is not happening. last time i checked it was 3.15 and now its only 3.20... im getting antsy to get out of this place. help?

2006-08-15T18:53:00.000-07:00

im sick, isnt that just peachy. gosh. when am i ever gonna get well and stay that way for awhile. Anihoos, its either i'm getting whacked or im starting to act real bimbotic. Examples, you say?

Well, just two nights ago, i was talking with thebf when he said somthing to this extend: Semalam i mimpi i drive kereta. (translation: yesterday, i dreamt that i was driving a car)

And what I thought I heard: Semalam i mimpi i Darth Vader. For the love of GOD. You need to speak and understand Malay to get the full extend of one of the most embarrassing and bimbotic moments of my life. Honestly, I feel my IQ level dropping to that of a 6 year old. do not laugh. DON'T YOU DARE!

Before thebf decide to post this on his blog. I'd rather come clean. better that way don't you think? I mean, it rates way up there on a publicity scale. hurhur..

On a totally different note altogether, some people like to starve themselves to thinness. Not an appealing idea. Well, just fly yourself down to Africa and live the way they do. You will have no problem fitting in to their daily diet of scrapes they pick of the ground.

---

i dont know how you do it the way you do. but you are good... one moment you can lift me up so high and the next, im falling fast to the ground.

---

good day y'all

2006-08-13T22:08:00.000-07:00

Gosh, it feels good to be back. My talk with Uncle must have been effective. Dang. I was just a broken person. Huda’s message made me realize that we all are humans. Huda… Thanks for your concern darling. I am feeling much better thanks. I know I tend to keep things to myself when I am down. But somehow, it is just an expectation from people around me. And it kind of took its toll. I was a wreck, really. It was so bad to know that I am carrying a broken heart around.

But I am so much better now. Really. Must think happy thoughts. Uncle was shocked to find me so moody. I am known as the chatterbox in the whole big family hokay. Is it my fault that I am bubbly? And sometimes, everyone kind of expects it to be my nature to be forever happy and crazy. But I have my down periods too.

But its okay. I shall not remain the bitterly sad and anger person I was the past few weeks. Always have happy thoughts. Many thank you for those who were there to see me breakdown. Muacks.. Lup u all many2 hokay…

I miss climbing so very much. When I do not get my three times a week training, its like going cold turkey. Damn. Its addictive larh. And I miss the peeps too. Especially babydarling. Always.

I'm back....

2006-08-12T10:40:00.000-07:00

early morning till the wee hours of the next morning. I was awake for more than 16 hours. All for the kenduri at my late grandparent's house. Its weird not to have any grandparens left. Its sad i know.

The afternoon was qute uneventful, since most of the time I was busy in the kitchen helping out the aunts to prepare the food. Lots of good food, yummylicious. Then I was stuck with lil Hazim. He is quite a handful ok. I shall post the picture of him that i took while bathing him just now. For a small toddler, he is lightning fast and goes around: Auntie N, Auntie N. Where Auntie N..

That's what all my niece and nephews call me btw. hurhur. I know very auntie ryt. Well I am one hokay. So I was with him the whole time. Feed him his porridge, make him take his bath and play aeroplanes with him.

Apart from tht, let us all thank god for uncles who are understanding like mine. Uncle has been a great help. when I thought there was no one I could turn to for help, he was there. He should have changed profession and start out his own pyschiatric clinic. He made me see a different point of view that only a guy can see. He knows I'm hurting. I could not even hold back my tears when I told him. He was shocked. And even that is an understatement to his reaction when i broke down in front of him.

He said he would have never thought that the situation was that bad. Well, me neither. But with all the things said between us. Its true. He told me that I am good at hiding my feelings and I'm turning into a bitter person. drowning all my happiness and chirpy vibes with anger. How can i not be angry. Please explain to me.

Yes! For those who are blind and total oblivious to the world. i hide my feelings pretty darn well. Even my uncle, whom i have know for most of my life just realised it. I need my starbucks with uncle. Its therapy. and im paying for the coffee this time..

2006-08-11T00:34:00.000-07:00

its 3:29 and I am so bored. I need the weekend to myself. Actually, I need to go out and hang loose. I am dying. But Saturday will be busy with the kenduri stuff and Sunday is just crap that I of all people have to stay home and babysit. I'm feeling kind of lonely right now, but i do not want company. I want to drown my sorrow alone. I want to cry. Like what the hell is wrong with me.

I think I am depressed. Its no biggie. I think maybe it's due to the monthly cycle. But what the hell, I hate feeling so low about myself. I don't even feel comfortable being myself. All I feel like doing is to drop down and cry. All I can manage and have energy now is to pretend that I am alright. I feel something inside me trying to break loose. Its horrible, i do not even have control over my feelings and emotions. I am a wreck. I do not feel good. Its physically and mentally draining.

Why is the world suddenly so empty and quiet? Am I dying?

2006-08-10T19:15:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was well spent with babydarling. After sooooo lonng not having him to myself, I am once again reminded that I have a boyfriend. Well, we went shopping, though the initial plan was to head to bugis, but we ended up at TM instead. However, it was not a trip wasted. Let me see, I bought OP shorts, Adidas perfume and a brown mango razor back, adding to a total of $52. Not too bad for a day’s spending, but I still have not got the three quarter pants that I wanted yesterday. They did not have it in my size and the salesgirl asked me to try one the one in size 26. Like I thought, it was tight at my hips and butt. I will not apologise for having assets so I shall hunt down for it today.

Anyways, the real reason for the shopping spree was to get myself a pair of shorts for ‘hiking’. The night before, babydarling was taken to my idea of ‘hiking’ at Macritchie Reservoir’s treetop trail and having a mini picnic after that, just the both of us. However, momsy had to spoil the plans by announcing that I will never be able to go out on Sundays because she has her religious class on Sunday mornings, followed by teaching her Iq’ra class at Masjid Siglap. So, unofficially, Sundays are my alone time with the siblings. My sis would not even be home.

So the plan for Sunday is off. Hopefully we can bring it forward to next Saturday. Guess what, I tried on Royal Robbins shorts and I could fit my ass into the size 0. I am not kidding ok. It was just a tad bit on the extremely short kind. Hoping to get one in size 2 (their shorts come in alternate sizes ok). So yes. And not forgetting when I accidentally spary muhd fariz with a girl’s scent: Sensual Instinct. Hehe. Apologies for that honey. And mind you it was not even that nice to begin with. Baby was so afraid he would start to attract the same gender.

---

We might not get what we want in life because that would not be according to what GOD has planned for us. Not that I believe in blind faith. I DO NOT. However, we need to have our faith close with us all the time. It reminds us of our purpose of living, of what we are supposed to do. We might not be happy with our life so far. But that is why GOD asks us to strive to make our life better. We might try as hard as we can, but always remember that in the end, the decision is in GOD’s hands. He knows what is best. One thing for sure, I will try my best not to miss my prayers anymore and when I do, I must make sure that I settle it as soon as possible. =)

---

I know that I make you sad all the time. I make you self-conscious and even low about yourself. But why are we still here? Is it worth to feel that way when you are with someone? Does love always have to hurt? One-sided happiness is not what we are about.

iloveub....

2006-08-09T21:15:00.000-07:00

I must admit that I have not been feeling too great about everything for the few weeks. Nothing is going right and silly arguments will just take it tool on me. Small and insignificant issues will get escalated and it just depresses me. Hormones, duh! It is cruel I know. However, to have someone treat you that way is no excuse. No matter who it is, it never fails to bring you down when you get treated like you do not deserve the best. Moving away from the depressing and emotional turmoil that I have been going through.

I hope some people are sensitive enough to respect other’s feelings. Please do not make passing comments that would hurt others and even their relationship. Honestly, right now I do not need unwanted comments that might trigger arguments. I am just plain tired. Can't it just go my way for once? Why do I always have to end up being the doormat? I DO NOT plan for such things to happen to me. I DO NOT willingly invite trouble like that. I want my fairy tale too, so please if your comments might affect someone else’s relationship. Think as many times as you can. After all, I will be the one to clean up the mess. I have to face the consequences of your action. Bear in mind that I am the one who will answer to all of the nonsense that you started. I know it might not mean a thing and a passing remark may be all you intended.

DO think of the direct result of it. Things might even get worse after those things. If someone blows up due to the comment you made. I perfectly understand. Honestly, because I will be having the same reaction if I was in the person’s shoe. Do not plant a seed of doubt in relationships. It is destructive. You might be the cause of the ending of a relationship. DO NOT be the reason to an ending of a relationship. It is never nice when people end up their separate ways because of you.

While I am at the topic, I might as well address the current issues. When we decide to open our eyes and observe our environment, we are able to learn what the real world is like. The first thing is, it is every man for himself. I never fail to notice this everywhere around me. When they are attached, they think of them and their partner of course. The ones who are not attached sometimes pose a problem. Please do not take this wrongly. I do not intend to point fingers or make judgments. We all want something in life but there are people who do not let anything get in their way. Even when they know the girl they like are attached. Honestly, get a clue and realize that the world does not revolve around you. The least you could do as a gentleman is to wait for your turn.

If you guys fail to realize this, I do not like to say it as it is. So read between the lines. But please do not think too much about it, it may not be referring to you. We all have our pet peeves. These are just some of mine.

I always tell baby to read between the lines and he always say that I do not. Maybe we are reading between the wrong lines honey… loveu..

2006-08-07T21:06:00.001-07:00

For once, I will try to post an entry without any grammatical, spelling errors and I will not resort to using of contractions. So here it goes.

Sometimes you try to hard to make things work but you end up screwing everything that is right. You slave and cry over the little details that make you r relationship so imperfect that you forget to cherish the fact that you are together with the one you love. Humans try their hardest to be perfect or die trying. But why in the world would we try to attain something that is way beyond our reach. However, if you are to reflect these circumstances, trying to be the best and immaculately perfect is not our only problem.

Another breed of human species is quite the opposite. They do not care about being a perfectionist. However, the saddest part is, they do nothing to try to change their lives and strive to make it better. For now, let us concentrate on relationship issues. The latter does not understand the need that their partner has to improve the relationship. They are complacent enough with the status of the relationship. This makes them fail to realize the telling signs that their relationship might end up in the trash.

Humans are funny that way. They do not understand that they themselves remember tiny bits of information and store it in their heads. For example, your boyfriend fails to notice or say thank you after you have done something nice for him. Your head registers it and believe me; you may not remember the details of what happened, but you can most likely feel the hurt again. When it happens again and again, you start feeling hurt a lot and maybe being with the person may end up hurting you. You no longer feel the love you have for the person, as the pain he has caused you is able to overcome whatever feelings you might have of him. It is dangerous and destructive for the relationship. Just try to understand that not everyone operates at the same frequency and feels the same way as you. Understanding might be the hardest part, but the rewards are fulfilling.

Having brains and emotions with the ability to speak our mind does not make it easier for us to communicate our feelings. In fact, to talk about our feelings is just either too painful a process or too complicating. While some try to talk things out, other just shut down. I hate it whenever I am trying to tell the person what I am feeling and the other party dismisses it or just would not take me seriously. Not only is it rude, but also try to understand that I may not be able to find the courage to communicate my feelings to you anymore. Or I might numb my feelings, as I believed that no one would bother listening. This is the direct result of not listening to someone. Next time when a friend needs someone to listen to her, please, do not offer advice. Just listen. If they need you to talk they will ask for it. However, we just lack someone understanding and compassionate enough to listen to our incoherent ramblings.

When you decide that you do not want to listen, the person automatically shuts down. He/She will have an understanding that on one else want to listen to him/her. With that action you have just chosen to mute her from expressing her feelings. Bear in mind that this might have suicidal consequences. Singapore is still a conservative nation. Most of our parents do not understand the way we think due to the era difference. What we think is a norm may not be acceptable to them. Their idea of a normal behaviour seems outdated in our eyes. Please. Just listen. Do not only listen to their words, listen to what they are not saying. That is the most important. They need you to see and understand what they are not saying with words. They trust you enough to open up so do not lose that trust.

Some people might be gregarious and openly friendly with everyone. They might have shown you their emotions at times. However these are the people you must watch. They are the ones who find it hard to really express what is inside of them. They know society can be cruel and they hide behind a facade. The person beside you maybe the friendliest person you have every met. But he/she might be the ones who never tell what they truly feel. They need to see that they are not okay. They need you to understand the fear they have when people truly know how they feel. It feels like being stripped bare and being at your most vulnerable. It feels like everyone has the ability to inflict pain on you. The emotional pain is so much for them to handle that they start feeling the physical pain.

This is turning into quite a depressing entry. It was not meant to end this way. I am not sure myself why I am writing all this. But I am starting to feel a bit better. I may not be the nicest around, but I try. Sometimes I try so hard that I end up making everyone happy at my own expense. I want people to be happy but I end up miserable. Why? I can only guess the answer for I am unsure myself. The person we love is the person we are most likely to hurt, and they have the power to inflict the most pain on us. Why? That question will remain a mystery that haunts everyone including myself.

No one will be able to hear my cries. No one will be able to answer my questions. No one will be able to erase away my pain. No one will be able to wipe away the tears I cry behind those smiles. No one will be able to detect the amount of pain I am hiding. No one will be able to save me from dying inside. No one will be able to understand the pain and hurt that I have to go through. No one will be able to break the wall I build around myself. No one will be able to stop me from tearing up every time I am alone with my thoughts. No one will be able to stop me from hurting you and in the process killing me. No one will be there for me when I truly need help. No one will be able to do anything. No one. Is there truly no one?

We humans are just funny. We can never satisfy ourselves, let alone anyone else.

2006-08-06T23:44:00.000-07:00

i feel as if im blatantly being ignored..

2006-08-06T20:07:00.000-07:00

Some people can be such pain in the ass. Truly, there are a few cases to demonstrate my motion. Lets look at the following paragraphs to get a better understanding of the kind of irritating people that exist in the world. Be aware that A can be either from a male or female species. This can be true for both sexes because, we are more alike than we like to admit. So true. We just want an excuse to cover up our carelessness and lack of thought for the other gender. So read on if you dare.

Scenario #1:
A likes a certain someone (say, B). It is unsure how A feels about B, but the way that people see it, A is sure to like B because of the body language and signals that A has portrayed to B. That is not all. Be sure to know that behind all the drama to hide whatever in front of the prying eyes of friends, A and B has in fact indulge in telling tales that they like each other. It is an innocent act okay (e.g. flirting, sticking to the person 24/7 and holding hands). However, this is a classic case of, "I-never-admit-my-feelings-so-there-isnt-anyway-you-can-tell-that-I-like-that-person". See what I mean? When at the end of the day, people start wondering or questioning the possibility of a relationship between A and B. A start to ignore the world and worse still avoid B. Make up your mind, will you? Do you like the person or not? If you don’t then do not start the innocent acts of making the person feel special. If in the first place, you do not intend to end up with the person, then why oh why in the world do you flirt and hold hands with them? Good question eh? I bet A cannot answer this one.

Scenario #2:
A is a single and available person. Naturally, nature and hormones will take its course and as expected, some honest and innocent flirting. Ah, the beauty of a relationship starting to blossom. But wait! When A starts to flirt with B, A decidedly makes the decision to flirt with C, D and E as well (the list might even go on till Z). This gets on the nerve of everyone who would stop and realize what a nasty action this truly is. The worse fact is that B is already attached. Somewhere along the way A learns of this fact and decides to ignore it for A’s convenience. No doubt that B has to be quite a catch. This does not excuse for the excessive flirting. Honestly, in my opinion, you can flirt with anyone or how many people you want. It does not matter and should not matter to anyone. However, if you decide to do it in public and do it over and over again in front of the same people, they might get a tad bit irritated and fed-up. A should get a life and find someone who is not attached to flirt with for goodness sake. This is another classic case of "What-the-hell-are-you-talking-about-I-so-did-not-flirt-with-your-boyfriend". And ladies and gentlemen, we can see in this scenario that A is the relationship breaker. Tsktsktsk. Never strive to be someone as hated as A.

Scenario #3:
A and B are a couple for quite awhile. However, the problem with long standing relationship is that, the spark either vanishes or both parties get careless with their words and actions. This will increase the friction and cause minor disagreements to escalate into uncontrollable arguments. By the end of this episode, neither party can recall what actually caused the argument. They will get back being cozy in their bubble of joy and the cycle continues. (I actually study this kind of things in Literature). A will have a boys'/girls' night out and B will be doing nothing but crave for attention from A. However, in this case ladies and gentlemen, please be aware that B’s intention was never to intrude or disrupt the fun. Then, A will blithely dismiss B just like that *snaps finger*. Then its comes to the point where A blantantly ignores B. Super bitchified attitude. Although this action might not be intentional, the damage has been done and when accumulated, the pain is tremendous. B will feel unimportant, 2nd best and severe heart pain. So read between the lines ladies and gentlemen and try to avoid being careless with your significant other. You both know you love each other, so show it. After being together for so long, you might forget the reasons why you fell in love with the other party in the first place. Try to fall in love all over again.

Scenario #4
I hate people who try to save money but end up making people spend. Don’t you? A is the kind who tries to budget and spend less. Especially when it comes to food. However, when B buys abit more to accommodate the number of people who will come and peck at the food, A just happily munch on B’s food not taking into account the amt of money B put in to buy the food and also if what A has eaten, will leave B with enough to eat. This ladies and gentlemen is the most irritating of all people. Honestly. I am the kind of person who cannot stand to have lack of food. Especially when I have not eaten, I need food too. And I cannot stand when people are stingy with their food but do not look left or right when munching happily on other’s food. I would rather spend abit more than have people fight over food and leave me feeling hungry. Please be considerate and think of the person. Irritating buggers.

Well folks, that is about all that I can think off for now. Please do not take my ramblings to heart. It is for pure entertainment purposes. Hurhur. Laughter is the best medicine. Is it true? I am merely trying to find an answer to that. So I hope u enjoyed it. =)

P/S: iwantmymacdess... darns...
PP/S: imissmybabaydarlingsoubermuch...
PPP/S: hurhur...icantwaitfortodae...shallupdateabtittmr...

2006-08-03T22:15:00.000-07:00

To all climbers, I have written an article on sports climbing on the next issue of WOWs.

[background info]
WOWs magazine is a publication under the company that I am attached to. For every issue I have to contribute articles for all the publication under AtPlus Pte Ltd. WOWs is a lifestyle magazine that targets the family and for the next issue, I have launched a sports section. Naturally, I wrote something close to heart. Not forgetting my intention of giving sports climbing more publicity. Honestly, we need it okay. More publicity means more sponsorship should the next Rockamania comes. Hurhur.
[/background info]

So when the next issue comes out in September, I shall be passing copies of WOWs around okay. And of course I did not forget to mention Temasek Polytechnic’s name. DUH! That’s beside’s the point. I honestly think that sports climbing is not getting the publicity and recognition we need. So yah, till next issue then.

---

Other than that, I have not been updating for the past two days. I am down with flu and have not been climbing for the past week. Honestly, I suck at bouldering all over again. Damn. I lost all the footwork and I do not have the energy and flexibility for bouldering anymore. That goes to show that you cannot concentrate on one aspect of climbing i.e. speed climbing, and expect to pick up the rest in an instant. Crap. Its back to doing rounds in the gym again. Get comfortable with bouldering and try to ignore the pain my finger is giving me. The joints are all swollen already. Sheesh.

Being sick doesn’t help one single bit. And anyways, I did up a new layout again. Hahs. This one is way nicer I think. Don’t you agree? Woots.. and frizdarling.. now has a blog too. Tho’ I honestly think that the skin isn’t much to begin with. But still. It was way better than how it was at the beginning. And I even had the tagboard up and running. Check it out here... So fun can? Hehehe.. exciting larh.. basically I have nothing else to sae.. except that.. I have thirty-four more working days till the end of SIP. Im counting down.. I kno.. join me.. I shall put a counter ryt. I know. I shall totally spend the rest of the day doing just that. Toodles

iloveu b.. muamua. Saying u..

typo errors

2006-08-01T19:12:00.000-07:00

before i begin blogging. i just want to address the issue for the typo error in one of my previous posts. what happen was dat i typed sarah as the 3rd placing winner when i am in thrid place and she got 1st! duh!

im honestly sorry sarah for that mistake. sheesh. wat a thing to mix up ryt. darn.

moving along. im super tired and shagged. i need countless hours of sleep to recuperate from the tiring weekend i had. suess what? i was down with fever yesterday and slept at about 8 at night. super early yarh. den woke up at 12 and msged the bf again before falling back into my nice fitful slumber. and i woke up at 7 as usual. and my body is still tired. darn. i cant climb this week. not with my body this weak. lets just hope i can open the gym next week. i have no exams so i wanna train up for climb on! 06.. back to bouldering and back to basics. darn.

new layout..

2006-07-31T22:21:00.000-07:00

new layout.. cool right? i think it is. very artsy fartsy.
im sick. yes, again. i kno. but the competition was very exhausting.

some guys can be clueless and insensitive. especially to other's feelings. im not sure if wat happen to me yesterdae was intentional or not. but i cant help feeling low about it. honestly, some people only think of themselves. they do not care about anione else.

im not angry. there is a difference. im hurt. sad and watever that falls in between feeling dat way. this nvr fails to happen. everytime the subject pops up these kinda things happen. i never believedin fairy tales but i believe in being honest. please people. whatever it is. be honest. when you have someone's trust dun abuse it. cos when you might be telling the truth, then people ard you find it hard to trust your words. they have to make the decision weather to believe you or not. cos they are afraid of being lied to a second time. its hurts okae. not physically, but emotionally. these wounds are harder to heal and they take a long time to recover from the experience. once bitten, twice shy.

have you every loved someone with a completeness that scares you? the intensity and magnitude of that feeling makes you anticipate the pain that might come one day? its better to love then never be loved at all. no matter how someone hurts you, you pick yourself up and ignore the scrape the person leaves behind.. but den careful that when you fall once more, the old wound dont open up again. dun wake up one dae and realise that you heart is full of scrapes and bruises that there's no place left for love. dont let it reach that stage. humans need to feel and loving is the greatest of them all..

TPSC makes a comeback

2006-07-30T20:07:00.000-07:00

uber cool.. can i gloat and brag? TP was GREAT.. ALE TP!!! wow. our cheering beat all the other schools combined. superb. our shouts were the best. we could be TPSC the sports climbing and cheerleading club..

we put up a fierce fight and im so proud of all my guys and girls. team was great.. even though we bagged the second place, we kno in our hearts dat all our training sessions were not wasted. hahs. and our 'coach', syafiq utama.. won first for the SEA Circuit speed cat. awesome. u shld have heard us at the expo. we shouted for joy. Singapore won first, but most of all, the person who put in as much effort in training us and with us won first place in South East Asia. how cool is that? no one can take away our proud moment at that point. Abuzar (is dat how its spelled?) slipped and at that point we cheered and shouted. it took a while for syafiq to realise dat he won and we he did, he punched the air in triumph and completed the rest of the route at his own pace. fabulous.

well, i won third for open women's individual cat. sarah got third and xiang lin from ITE Simei nagged second place. two spots for TP.. woots. and for the open men's category, ilyas and im got second and third place respectively. cool larh. aniwaes, for the open team event. for our men's and women's team got second place. haha.. i got two medal. and its super heavy..

i will update with more details in the next entry and post pix as well ryt.

but before anithing.. i wana sae iloveu baby.. sayang mydarling. he was dere to support me all the wae. being my pillar of support and the person i run to when i need a hug. suwit kan.. wont trade him for anithing. love him so much. and he wasnt even taking part. see.. but he was dere early and left late with me. muacks. he's support means everything to me. loveu b...

NISCC draws closer

2006-07-27T23:20:00.000-07:00

after all the prep and injuries. its finally here.. The first ever National Inter-school Speed Climbing Competition is tmr! *hyperventilates*

oh my goodness.. im scared. everytime i think about the competition, my heartbeat goes haywire. sheesh. saturday is the individualcategory while sunday team temasek will be going against the team from SP and NYP...

Pei Ning's not writing animore stuff abt the speed comp cos of my previous entry. hahs.. who's not stress.. yesterdae was awesome. the girls and guys did great.. so proud of them. we still haven come up with the name for our team.. pfft.. will it seriously be speed demon.. thinking abt it.. well.. it sounds.. erm.... demonic?

hahah.. we need a sexy but still aggressive name.. help anione? tag at my tagboard kae.. im so sleepy. im not sure why, but i have always slept halfway while sms-ing with thebf. gosh.. sorie honey.. i cant explain it. in hungry and sleep. and i tynk i will be pmsing sumtym soon.. hopefully it waits till the speed comp is over. i cant figure a way of speed climbing while wearing pad.. more info than you need to kno? i agree.. but it my blog.. so hu cares.

so for all the darling readers who have nothing to do this weekend.. head over to the S'pore Expo Hall 5 and be prepared to watch the competitive world of sports climbing.. i'll be competing at 2.45 on saturdae and at 10.50 on sunday.. so drag ur heavily burden-ed butt there okies.. TP needs as much support as we can..

i need huggs... and can i take a bite out of you?

speeding heartbeat

2006-07-26T01:37:00.000-07:00

almost all the blog i read has something about the upcoming speed comp mentioned.. stop it larh people. you guys are making me scared. my heart is thumping wildly. seriously. so much so that i cant think straight and i cant concentrate on my work. im breaking into a cold sweat thinking about the competition. There may only be 3 teams going against each other, but we got some strong competition. resistance mainly will come from meishan and xiang lin. not too sure abt the rest. cos this is the first huge speed competition that we are participating in. ouh crap.

scary, no doubt. pressure. i think sarah might be a pressured into pulling the others weight. but i think that TPSC are all doing our very best. im proud of the undying commitment of both the guys and girls.. ALE TPSC! we can do it. i lurve this bunch of people. you grow with them and im so used to having a crappy bunch of climbers around me. positive vibes and we live of each other's energy. awesome. a great sense of belonging and camaraderie.. muacks...

must practise clipping todae and tomorrow. no choice. our timing may depend on it. damn.. i get very restless thinking abt it.. hah. speaking of which, me and sarah couldnt stop singing the soundtracks to High School Musical. and we had fun acting out the parts to the ice queen and her brother.. cute larh.. what i've been looking for.. woots. much love to my darling girls.. cant wait for saturday. yet im dreading it.. im sure the guys will do us proud.. they are great larh okae.. like lizard...

well... im tired and sleepy with puffy eyes.. i want energy bars...

ilove u baby... always

low to my toes

2006-07-25T07:44:00.000-07:00

yes.. i've been feeling low. the lowest i have felt in along long time. no time for jokes or petty small talk. im not even in the mood. and this is the longest time dat im feeling upset. coming close to a week already. its hard to laugh when your heart is in shreads and you feel like your face will be crumbling into a frown and tears will soon start falling.

im sensitive that way. but not many people know. in fact how many people actually take the time to know? most would not even bother with the extra chore. im babblering and i do not care. its my blog for goodness sake.

i have been blog-hopping and i read a couple's blog. their individual blog fyi. it seems dat most of the guy's friends do not approve of the girl and keep making nasty remarks about her. how she seems to control his life and blah blah blah. and the guy well.. i cant say that he actually takes a stand and protects his gf. super wat the fuck. really. if you love the person to be wif her. den go find your balls to protect her and take a stand against your friends. unless you are the type who has no backbone and the only reason why you have a gf is becos you need someone to listen to your problems.. and of course you need sumone to make out with..

speaking of which, the gf is no better herself.. she can tel her bf to fuck off.. and mind you.. she does say it oke.. not a role model of a nice person. but that's not the point. anyways. i digress.. i was distraught by wat i read hokay. uber disturbing. they need to see a counsellor. badly.

bad to my oh-not-doing-so-well self.. i tynk im goin bonkers. honestly. i flare up pretty easily and all i want to do. ever. is cry. bawl my eyes out. i'll be okay for a while and i'll do it all over again. this is bad? tell me abt it..

sometimes i fyl like i dont matter in your life any more. friends are impt i know, but you are changing and i tynk its cos of them. i dun want to run your life. but you decide. i dun tynk i can stand being second best AGAIN. they were nvr dere wen you were depressed. they were not by your side worrying abt you wen you were sick. im worn out.

shoot me...

2006-07-23T19:08:00.000-07:00

when someone hurt you. you take it and strive forward. promising to yourelf that you need not be too sensitive about an issue and try to forgive and forget. then another unfortunate thing happens and you start thinking, is its you or is it people taking advantage of you. its hard to come to a conclusion, especially when the person is close to you.

i admit that im not a perfect person. i don't even come close. but it hurts real bad when i'm being treated this way. i feel like crying and sharing my problem. but with who? i cant even open my mouth. i just want to go home and sleep. never wake up. once i thought that we are taught to trust and at the same time learn not to abuse the trust that people put in us. humans make mistake. i know. but humans hurt too. my insides are disintegrating. i can feel it.

u may think dat im being petty.. but you are not in my position.. and angry, hurt and i dun feel lyk talking.. yah.. the chatterbox me.. i dun want to talk.. i just want to bottle everything inside and just shut myself from the world. wats the use...

shoot me please..

2006-07-22T23:01:00.000-07:00

hiatus? who am i trying to kid? hah.. okae.. maybe i did have some time alone to think and set my life back on track again. its best to put our past where they belong but then we need to keep close to us. the history shapes us to the person we are now and our attitude and maturity takes us through the future.

enough of all this emotional preaching. i went to a gig yesterday. actually it was for the straits times pocket money fund. so let me begin right from the start.

me and mydarlig arrived at about 5.40 and the officials were telling the rest of them to walk around until after 6. so i went right up to one of them and said that i was on the invite list. uber cool right. haha. special treatment or people of the media.

the company that i am attached to is calld AtPlus and one of the many publications under us is WOWs. and i am the staff writer.. woots

so we got to go in. and me being the person who has never stepped into a club/lounge was in for m surprise. basically i thought it would look like paradigm. but the DXO was tastefully done. sper jakon i know.. wth. its bar was nice and there was a pool table at the back and a better looking lounge upstairs.

anyways, they were playing lounge music and my head did not hurt that much. so, it was great. until the band came out. i liked eternal loop. played the tunes of ultimate, ost freaky friday, girl next door and their original: why.. fantastic.. den a jumble of bands came out and most of them were playing chinese songs.. my god. really. one band. tiet were singing a cantonese song i presume and they sounded as if they were scolding vulgarities.

since mydarling had not taken a bite from morning. we headed to marina and eat mcdees. den we walked to the #12 bus stop nearest to riverside point. hahs. uber long walk. but we took a rest at the esplanade park.. we reminising the day during pumpfest. *winks*

dat was about all.. but i just wanted to tell you the power of the press. media is s important dat if you tell them dat you are a writer. immediately, peole will suck up to you. talk about royal treatment. maybe.. i should be a journalist. hahs.

2006-07-19T21:07:00.000-07:00

guess what? i wore my newly bought pants yesterdae. the ones that i got on tuesday. awesome ok.. and i was used my newest rip curl bag.. fuyoh. the ones that mydarling chose for me.. im so in love with it. thebf got great taste. mu-ah. sayang u..

yesterdae sucked to the max otay.. fuck larh.. timing all screwed up for the speed..

other than that.. i tynk i shall go on a hiatus.. i duno. i just need to remove myself from the world and do some soul-searching. need to reflect on the past events dat happen in my life. is it true? if we love someone we shld let the person go? what do you guys tynk. not even an ounce of fight shld be put in? wats love? y complicate things? im emotionally drained and im dying. crumbling inside. how can i hurt like dis w/o being physically wounded?

its okae.. i'll just hold you tight for awhile and let you go. if dats wat you want. iloveu... always, i promise...

2006-07-18T19:12:00.000-07:00

change of plans.. im not using my newly-bought bag.. cos i not in the mood to dress up fer werk.. bleahx.. lately i have been hearing the news of break-ups peppering people's lives.. its sad but nothing last forever. we should remember as we make plans for the future and get comfy with the people we love, sometyms, god has other plans fer us.

while we are agonizing over the lose of a dearly loved one, we might not even realize that just beyond the overcasting shadow of a grey cloud, is a rainbow waiting to burst its colours. i kno dat it seems bad for me to say this.. but i believe dat if couples are meant to be den dere's no escaping the fact that you will end up with one another one day. sometyms if u love a person unconditionally, you might want to try and work out the problems and give it one more shot. to go your separate ways or to stay together. that is sumthing the both ofyou must decide and work towards, as a couple.

i might want to kick mydarling's cute lil butt sumtyms but i still love him. its true we have been together for a short time compared to other couples.. but im sure he has been irritated with me quite a few times as well.. it just boils down to fate and destiny. believe in god and he'll pull you thru a rough patch.. infact he's alwaes dere. gewd or bad.. he loves u more than anione could. no mortal love could ever reach the magnitude of his love for his creation.

dats a sad story to begin my morning. and im preaching.. bah! ouh wells. its saddens me at some people are just too caught up in their ~~tiny~~ puny bubble that they cant think straight.. what am i talking about? well plagiarism of course. my word. i mean if you think originality is everything den quit 'cut and paste' ing everything you see frm sumone else's. nothing can excuse you from stealing out right like dat.

pffftt.. i give up. nothing's gonna change the attitude of people who are too caught up trying to be perfect..like wat nabilah m calls dem: plastics. get real, u will never be perfect.. so make a mistake.. no one will shoot you..

apart from the lengthy entry.. i must sae dat im missing mydarling.. kentot you kno. but he's gona wear a polo tee and berms todae.. delectable.. yummylicious..

2006-07-17T19:33:00.000-07:00

a long overdued post and here's the thing.. over the weekend i was suppose to catch pirates of the carribean and it was full and packed.. sheesh. i hate town when its jam packed with people.. talk about sardine town..

but its okae.. spend the time walking around with mydarling.. and he bought the bag that he was eyeing like since forever okae.. and at only half price.. wahlau.. wat a bargain.. and i bought a bag too.. suwit otay. i like cos its super kick ass bohemian.. can die larh. tmr i show-off abit k.

training yesterdae was bad.. i cant move my arms now. weak weak weak. phlegm like gona drown me. im sick again. and i wana buy the pants dat i saw with mydarling. but its like 50 ++ larh.. yikes. gona find a cheaper version..

ok. im off to writing more articles.. muah..

2006-07-13T19:25:00.000-07:00

had a blast yesterdae.. speed training as usual.. hilarious i tell u. climbers are a bunch jokers. i was basically 'spotting' people's mistakes. everyone has speech impairment. cracking up over the slightest thing. but all dat fun was way after the torturous physical we had before.

i was late cos of work. so i missed out on a set. we had to run up the stairs. Step by step as fast as we can. then come back down, this time take it two steps at a time. come back down again and lastly take three steps in each stride.. that was hard.. and thats one set.. we had to do four. in my case 3.. hahs.. after dat i could feel the stretch in my legs.. it went up to my butt hokay. fine so i didnt do my warn up.. but honestly right.. when u r working on your legs, the urge to pee will alwaes be there.. so dun accidentally let it out in public ok.. proceed to the loo..

after dat was our pull up.. i can du pull ups now.. wookay... its hard larh.. but i did it.. girls need to complete 3 sets of 2 pull ups.. easy peasy lemon squeezy.

den its climbing time.. best part of the session.. we had a lil competition to get the mood going.. first was qualifiers den the knock out round.. was in group 1 and went against sarah.. and i was demoted to group 2. knockout round was against jo and den i was with sarah again.. she win me.. hurhur.. but my best timing fer yesterdae was 13 secs.. woohoo.. great.. i never was any faster than 17 secs for any routes before.. great feeling..

need to jump more and widen my stride.. woots.. competition in 2 weeks.. and im scared..

2006-07-12T19:46:00.000-07:00

w e e e e ~ !

HAPPY 8 MONTHS BABY..

all dats said and done.. im not feeling too good.. been effin sick fer the past 3 daes.. MC.. muahahah.. but im still sick like i-duno-wat-larh-okae..

im not happy with sumone now.. he doesn't kno it.. but i realli not happy larh.. i fyl lyk im being treated like a stoopid rag doll.. push me aside larh.. as and wen u need company come to me.. im the human valium aren't i.. i hate this and you kno it.. so stop pretending as if everything is fine and dandy.. cos it ain't.. im being a bitch.. but don't care.. all that i care is why am i being treated this wae. why cant i demand more.. i dun give a freaking damn about the ther person.. who cares if sometyms i act like her.. im not perfect.. and we may have similar traits okae.. so dere.. if u r not happi.. im telling you this.. im in a pissified mood.. so dun fuck with me..

2006-07-09T02:19:00.000-07:00

the weekend spent at home.. initial plan was to go out with the boyfriend yesterdae, but last minute twist to the plans.. momsy wanted to see my face at home.. so now im sitting the young 'un..

life has been pretty predictable.. xcept for the fact that my supervisor expect me to do everything.. am i superwoman.. hello.. even superheroes need a break.. sheesh.. i hate this life.. and they are offering me to werk fer them.. lets just keep that in mind larh ok..

other than that, speed trainings tmr, wednesdae and thursdae.. scary scary.. comp's up in a few weeks time.. and i still haven spend my molar.. sheesh.. no time okae.. need new climbing shoes.. badly.. too bad singapore does not offer resole-ing services.. crap..

trash all the memories
of what we thought was our future
the drugging kisses
were your facade behind an ugly past
torch histiry and all be damned
so all that's left is you and me
the wrld sees a different person
a persona under a mask
you sees me through my eyes
making eternity flash right by
from different ends though the same
fate plays a cruel twist
we cried the tears of a love song went wrong
but now we know a different tune
nothing seems pained nor solemn
as life unfolds a secret path
here we walk together down the road
uncovering the stash of happiness beyond

2006-07-06T19:12:00.000-07:00

it has been a long and tiring week. another exhibition at expo has gone by and now im in the office typing away.. writing articles to no end. in kinda glad to be back. no more standing and talking to chikopek people.

yesterdae was the speed selection for NISCC.. and i got selected for speed team. timing wise, mine was quite a dissapointment. my training was better den the selection timing. one was 18.09 secs and the other one was 17.36 secs.. i tynk..

better train hard.. i tynk we need to train speed for every training. sheesh.. its at the end of the month u kno. scary..

freshies are starting to be a pain in the place where the sun dun shine.. they hog the wall as if they own the balrdy place and even refuse when i wanted to teach them techniques.. please dun go about embarrasing me in competitions okae.. TPSC is a competitive club. its either u buck up or GET THE HELL OUT. im effing serious ya'll.. they need a hard knock on the head to wake up. just who the hell do they tynk they are.. sheesh.. u ikan bilis u..

one of these daes, i forsee myself giving them the fuck care attitude.. and its in the near future.

on a lighter note, i got to see my darling yesterdae.. miss him uber much.. and he's fetching me from werk todae.. weeee~! best kan.. well, i shall haf to continue with my articles.. toodles..

2006-07-02T23:14:00.000-07:00

i just got paid.. *woots* $440 richer baybeh..

Things i need to pay off:
$50 to uncle and starbucks latte for the 1gb thumbdrive
$100 to pay my phone bill

other than that, i haveto save a hundred dollars and the rest is for me to shop, shop and shop till i drop.. hahhaha.. so fun.. the pleasures of attachment to companies.. that's like almost $200 to spend leh.. not too bad arh..

can larh.. 5 more weeks till the next pay.. i can survive till den..

i have another exhibition this week at expo.. formal wear again.. sheesh.. im getting dang tired of wearing heels.. my feet are dying.. i haven met my baby fer like 2 weeks already.. the poor kentot darling of mine was down with fever for the whole of last week.. i tynk he was just allergic to school.. hahah..

3 weeks never go out with me.. alwaes date fauzi.. im jealous ok.. im the gf den he date fauzi.. aiyoh.. how lidat.. thank goodness i understanding ok.. tho' i wish i would just throw a tantrum sumtimes..

nothing is up as usual.. apart from the on campus session last saturdae and my super duper loooong lunch with dada and syah.. catching up has never taken so long for us.. den i went for a mani with dada.. fun ryt.. lovely.. shall drag momsy this weeken i tynk to have her nails done.. but she dun want to paint it.. she just wants the massage.. i suppose pedi would be a better choice.. im spoiling my mom..

climbing later.. meeting the bf who has perfected the dissapearing act with e for the last 3 weeks.. he better be good the next few weeks.. or im going to throw a fit.. mayb.. iduno.. see how first.

did i tell you that the last exhibition i went to, there was a beckham look-a-like but with better sounding voice.. damn macho.. and LG had b-boys flown from korea.. im not being racist but i have never seen a chinese guy wourth drooling for.. buy b-boy candle is uberly cute.. his pec were awesome.. reminds me of my darlingbaby.. so cute.. but he was short larh.. pfft.. tapi takper.. i got my darling oredi so im satisfied.. the one thing dat reminded me of darling wasthe guy's 'wing'. power larh..

well, i should be heading down to singapore expo in half an hour's time.. to set up the booth.. hopefully can knock off early and climb with the kaopeis.. miss the uber much.. but i rindu my darling twice...

2006-06-25T20:16:00.000-07:00

i've been gone for quite awhile.. many things happened over the week. an emotional, nerve-wreaking weekend.

just so for you guys to kno.. my grandpa passed away last thursdae.. i was at singapore expo, werking wen i got a call from mummy saying dat atok was unconcious at that moment.

rushed down to Changi Hospital and was told dat atok was on life support. for those who are blessedly ignorant. well its means my atok was hooked up to a pumping-like machine dat pumps oxygen into his lungs. if u tynks its sunthing of a drama. tynk again. its far worse den dat. couldnt control my tears. he was in absolute pain. i could see it in his eyes.

was waiting outside wen the parental units were discussing if they should pull him off thelife support. dey didnt want him to suffer. i wanted toargue but then the doctor rushed in once again. was about 45 minutes wen he came out and said dat we lost him. one of his main veins or sunthing to dat extend burst and its bleeding in his heart. somuch so dat the heart cant pump blood or oxygen animore.

as for now, i am officiall grandparent-less. appreciate what you've got before you lose it. i hate goodbyes, but death is inevitable. humans live to die at the end. thats the natural cycle and we have to accept it.

he looks well rested at the end of his life. after all his sufferings, i pray that he is well in god's hands.

im in no mood to do anithing. baby is sick and im sick of werk. everything is so sickening. bah!

wen can i go out and de-stress. be in the compnay of sumone i love. its been solong since and i hate wen dis happens.

2006-06-18T19:32:00.000-07:00

i have been think alot about this lately.. the people you depend on are the people who let you down the most.. and the people that you loved the most are the ones who are able to do the most damage when they hurt you.

once, not too long ago.. i was sumone who was not afraid to show my anger when i am angry. im still not afraid. but as we mature, we learn not to repeat mistakes of the past. poly has seen the best of me so far.. not that im at my best all the time.. but i try to control my temper.. i have never shouted to show my anger at anyone.. not that i can remember.. only once i suppose..

well as we mature, we realise that not everyone are on the same frequency as us. we have to understand others as well. but to think that some people are just plain taking advantage of you.. its just seriously screwed up. and the people are the ones that you are most likely to depend on wen u are down. they are the ones that find you wen they have relationship problems..

who am i to you? just a place of santuary you run to when you are between a rock and a big pile of shit? why am i the one to notice when sumone is depressed or down.. but they can never tell if im quite alright..

you say that im important in you life but you place more significance on your friends. it hurts to be second best. but thats the truth aint it.. no point in feeling hurt.. cos in the end this is how things are going to be. when im hurt or depressed, doesnt it occur to you that i need sumone ard. but in the end, i have to swallow my pride and sms u first. i tell you, it wont be long till i die of suffocating on my own pride.

you cant even put aside you ego. two can play dis game. you can stop being a manipulative and egotistical person. if you persist then we'll see how dang stubborn i can be shall we. compromise my ass. you are not even willing to give for a change.

i may not be as tempremental as i was back in secondary school.. but i can damn sure get pissed of.. and mind you, you have never seen the bad side of me..

2006-06-18T19:12:00.000-07:00

i have been tagged by the one and only nabilah.. sheesh.. well lets do it once, lets do it gewd..

7 random facts about me:

i read books damn fast you would not believe it (exception of textboks)

ilovemybabyubermuch

im tall and im still growing

im a climber and i just bought a sexy red harness..

i cant wear heels or else i'll be towering over most ppl

i hate journalism but im stuck duing it for my attachment

im a guilty shopper..

7 things that scare me:

when im caught duing sumthing wrong

my parents when they are angry

muhd fariz when he's angry abt sumthing tho' he nvr shout or scold

wen i have bad grades

god

sumone sneaking on me

stalkers.. sheesh

7 random music at the moment

unfaithful - rihanna

promiscuous - nelly furtado feat timbaland

saying sorry - hawthrone heights

buttons - pussycat dolls

hotel california - eagles

red red wine - UB40

7 things i like the most:

my family

mydarlingboyfriend

my friends

surprises.. nice ones please

shopping

climbing.. its addictive i swear

spending time with theboyfriend cos we dun spend much tym with each other

7 things i say the most:

gi hisap arh

pukul braper?... kul t**** kau..

eh?

aper sey

wat u duin?

iloveu

imissu

b

huda

marlina.. just to make sure u read my blog

lydia

kenneth

fadzie..
i cant think of the 2 more ppl.. so this is still pending

2006-06-12T19:43:00.000-07:00

HAPPIE 7 MTHS ANN darling..

mua mua.. sayang u.. u kentot u..

other than that, nothing is up actuallie. everyone is enjoying two weeks of break and im still stuck here at the office even tho' i have nothing much to do. pretty sucky if you ask me. i have nothing to do other than the fact that i have to contribute articles for the next issue of WOWs.

i have a boring life ryt now.. everything is lying low.. sheessh.. im just waiting for sumting exciting to appen..

2006-06-11T23:28:00.000-07:00

i find updating a chore nowadays.. hahah.. aniwaes.. sat was well spent with my honey buns.. b wanted to watch xmen3 and guess wat? we were sitting in the first row.. good gracious.. neck pain, butt was freezing.. but it was good..

i cried at some majorly touching parts.. im not gonna spoil the movie for anione.. so yarh.. dats all.. we had swensen's before the movie.. frsted chocolate malt is absolutely awesome.. darling didn't even finish his cookie summit..

i bought a white abercrombie top for 32 bucks.. not too bad i guess.. but felt guilty spending the money..

nothing else ferme to update except the fact that i have pending dates with some of the girlfrens.. dada and akak, huda and fadzie, nabilah and also lydia.. when? im so bz.. i can die.. no tym for my own frens.. attachment is not cool..

2006-06-05T22:19:00.000-07:00

back from lunch.. the LO just came and visited me. seeing mr. selvan reminds me of school and i miss school uber much ok. everything about school. except the part where i get 'molested' along the corridor. *eeewwwww*

anihoos, mr. selvan said that he heard only good things about me from my supervisor. and that my portfolio of what i have done is uberly impressive. hahah. thank you. well, he is looking forward for the on campus meeting so that i can show him all my art work, my articles and the layout i did.. cool major...

been feeling weird the past two daes. duno wats wrong.. i even tynk im starting to scare some people. its not me okae. im just feeling abit under the weather. abit lonely and empty inside. not my brains.. emotionally. depression you tink? i hope not.. its scary larh.. just hope that this is a phase. i wana get over it and move on with life.

well.. im missing alot of things ryt now.. like my blankie and bed.. not forgeting my gigantic bolster. its raining.. and i want to get some shut eye. grey' anatomy is cool.. worth the lack of sleep that i am getting.

in my darkest hour, i am alone...

2006-06-04T20:51:00.000-07:00

the past week has been hectic. i must say that im pretty darn proud of myself for completing all the artwork and just waiting for the approval from the customers. now, the senior sales manager has asked me to write an article on properties..

like are you serious man?

i promised myself that i would avoid being nulgur. lets give it a try okay. i've been reading someone's blog. she is a pretty little thing and sweet too. looks damn good larh. but i have never heard her when she opens her mouth. and i hope i will not be dere. from what i read from her blog, she has an angry management problem and feels that using the word fuck is like emphasizing what she feels. are you serious girl? anihoos, reading the blog scares me.

well, work is quite uneventful. i'm not going to KL or Mt Ophir. sad, but i'm looking forward to be able to spend some tym with the bf. after the big misunderstanding we had, i think that we really have to spend time together. promised to watch x-men3.. im waiting patiently for my dairy queen kitkat blizzard.. yummylicious.

huda: i miss u larh.. not enough time to catch up.. thanks for the blue rose. absolutely adorable. thanks again.. lup u

fadzie: when r u free? i'm in need for a date with you. its illegal to not date ur bestie for so loong. if its not, i shall make it illegal.. haha so when? sayang u

the bf: i miss u. u lagi satu, biler nak date i? after ur term test u already got dates with the guys. party summore. i need a date with u... kentot larh u b.. love u loads.. banyak2..

withering away

2006-05-29T00:24:00.000-07:00

i'm hurting
and i dont kno why
i'm want it to stop
but i dont kno how
i want to die
but i kno i cant

the pain is unbearable. reallie. you are the only one who can hurt me dis way and you kno it.

who the hell needs 'em

2006-05-26T00:03:00.000-07:00

i have developed a huge dislike towards sales people who do not have any frigging idea how had it is for the grphic side to come up with a piece of artwork when we are not briefed properly. and i am just an intern for goat's sake. with the in house designer going of for a holiday till next thursday, i am sure to die in the hands of such imbeciles.

can someone please highlight the importance of telling your subordinates what you expect them to do. that would be a brilliant move instead of them checking on me every 5 minutes and telling me that i do not understand the customer.

hello...

i am not the one contacting the customer. gosh. thats your work. and please do not sit next to me at 4.40 and demand that i show you the artwork and expect me to stay late when there is no rush at all for the frigging thing. it can wait. i cant.. i have a life beyond this company. unlike you all.. ppffftt.

so hard to make them understand that i am not willing to throw my life away just yet. worse still, the computer refuses to cooperate with me. just because the damn computer is filled to the brim with unwanted graphics. didnt anyone enlighten you on the fact that graphics take a huge amount of space or do you expect me to spell that out for you too?

the period is not sitting too well with me either. it hurts big time okae.. and my back is feeling the strain. Jay gone till thursday and they expect me to take over his work load.. i am not a professional. and i do not intend to make my life a slave to the likes of stoopid sales people like you. eeeeeeeeee...

go do your own artwork larh. it is no fault of mine that you find it hard to communicate your ideas to fellow human beings or that the customers are rushing you. tell them to screw off larh. thats not my job. and please, do not sit so close to me. im claustrophobic. reallie. it just piss me off even more.

its the period i tell you.. mayb its just the company.. or me doing journalism, the thing i hate most.. or duing graphic designing for dummies.. either way. its a lethal combination.

splitting headache

2006-05-24T19:35:00.000-07:00

ever woke up to a nogging pain on the top of your head. feels like someone is trying their best to kill you by squeezing you brains into mush. it hurts. period. hahaha. private joke.

nothing to do right now. i have to design an advertorial, but then, i can't seen to find the picture that the company is suppose to prvide. hurhur. funny ryt. and nothing ever works right in this company. especially the computers and the people. except for lovely lil' me.

i couldn't climb much yesterday. much of the time was spent with darling outside the gym, talking. when he ask for his massage, wak and liz joined us. a row of climbers massaging each other's back.

sayang darling..

i wanna go NTU. Get a degree in Mass Communication. But it takes 4 years to complete my education there. No getting off on any modules that i might have studied in Poly. By the time i'm done with getting a degree, most of my friends will have started work and i'm a fresh graduate of 24 years old. scary kan. to go or not to go?

i have a date with darling later. teman him study at the library. he got CKTCS test tmr and i will prolly be reading or sumthing. cant climb so what the use of turning up for training anyways. and see someone's face when my patience is at its end.

i wonder why my temper is almost at the breaking point. i mean, my tolerance level used to be way high and now i just cant wait for someone to make a silly mistake so i can let out my frustration.

pfftt

editors note:
if i offend anyone on my blog. please forgive me. but then again, this blog is mine. so please feel free to get the hell out of this site if you cant swallow what i shoved down your throat. Better still, just shut your pie hole. life is cruel and the truth can slap you in the face sometimes. trust me if i mentioned u in my blog means you just need to hear another side of the story other than your own. you must have been such a pain in the place where the sun don't shine. other then that i love you. realli. muacks.

writers are so tempremental. its part of the job. but i still need to control my temper. maybe its just the headache. u kno how these little nasty thing get to you make make you turn horrible. sorry love.

helluva ride

2006-05-22T19:35:00.000-07:00

Life hasnt been what it was exactly for me. Topsy-turvy ride in a roller coaster is the best phrase to describe the past week (including a hectic day I had yesterday). Nonetheless, I have survived and still living, barely enough to tell this tale. When a magazine closes their publication to start finalizing the pagination and end details of the whole magazine before sending it to the printer's, no one will have a peaceful moment.

That is also when the computer chooses to lag on you and the adobe photoshop never seem to work the way you want it to. Sucky but true, the harsh facts of life.

Anyway, everyone around seems to be cranky and moody and on top of that, short-tempered. I guess nerves are playing with us since competition is only a few days away and training hasnt been much of a fun thing.

Not that I dont enjoy myself. Dont get me wrong. Climbing itself is already something fun. Great enough to make me itch in my seat to get out of the office early and meet my climbers in the gym. Competition always calls for 150% from the individual. By the end of the training session, every single climber will be famished and also very tired, worn out and just plain exhausted. Nothing beats training with a bunch of crazy people who just thrives on each other's energy. No matter how tired we are; we push ourselves further and further each time we see another climber doing the same thing.

At the end of the day, tired as we maybe, a sense of satisfaction just makes everything else worthwhile. A whole bad day will be just another bad memory.

Btw, I met up with the primary school gang on Sunday. Caught Over The Hedge. A very funny movie it was. It was peppered with clever and witty jokes. Being with the old gang was fun too. Definitely a good combination.
I miss my darling.. miss spending time with him and being around him. Mua mua.. sayang muhd fariz...

missing on all the fun

2006-05-20T06:45:00.000-07:00

guess what? just my luck. the climbers are all planning an outing to sunny Kuala Lumpur and i'll be missing on all the fun.

things i'll never ever ever be able to do:-
[1] overnight
[2] go on overseas trip with my friends
[3] come home at 12
[4] have my own chalet without any adult supervision,
even for a while

that is all i can think of right now. but believe me, there are more that can be added to the list. *pfftt* im missing my darling. i went to school on a saturday afternoon. hahah. at 11 darling picked me up and we went to school for a climbing seesion. i swear that my fingers are getting from bad to worse. but ilyas is kind of right. i guess i am improving. from where i was before training this hard. believe me. i am in much of a better shape =)

thanks to ilyas for pushing me.. and of course to my dear dear darling for not giving up on me, pushing me to do my best, giving me routes when i want it and also for scolding me.. at times only kay.

Pumpfest is less than a week way and i can't wait. i hope the training paid off. and i pulled both my middle finger. but the right one is worse off. i can't even do a simple route without feeling the pain.

mind over matter

dada dropped by today,. so long never meet up with her. well i can slack with her and akak next week during Pumpfest.

i cant stand people who are trying to run away from their responsibility over the whole lot of us. and you call yourself a full grown man? where the hell are you god damn balls for heaven's sake?

are you out of you puny, insane mind?

if you can't take the responsibility of taking care of us. forget about trying to make us bring back something to be proud of. you can go and die for all i care. and trust me honey i dun give a thought what a dimwit, sad excuse for a human being like you, think of me.

you sad piece of junk, no one is treating you like the way you like to think. wake up and smell the shit bro, you worthless piece of crap. and please, spare us the lecture and explanation of why we have to listen to you. cause honestly, i think you talk too damn much. you should listen for a change. about what we want and how you should start acting like the person you are hired to be. you are just plain wasting tax payers money.

im done... for now anyway. i'm sure there will be more on the way.. cause i just got started.

just shoot me BANG

2006-05-17T00:31:00.000-07:00

its exactly 3.35pm and im blogging. dun mind me. i have succumb to the boredom and pressure of work. seriously people, where do you get information on the telecommunication industry. please tell me sumone. i mean the latest of the latest news. i need news that is fresh out of the oven. sumthing liddat

aniwaes. i cant wait for 4.40 so i can get the hell out of here. i can only do work before lunch time.. that is when i am most alert and have the ability to force myself to do some work. actually all my work. i alwaes cramp up my morning so i finish all that is to be done on that day, before lunch time.

after lunch my whole body switches off. and worse. whenever it is raining, i feel like crying. i dun kno why. i miss the great outdoors. miss being under the scortching sun. i do. feel like escaping out every afternoon just to enjoy the heat of the blazing hot sun on my skin.

weird, i kno. but at least none of you are trapped in this extremely small office with bad working conditions right. bleahx..

cant wait to stretch all my aching muscles at training later. can meet darls. and be in the company of some normal people for once. ish..

ouh yarh.. i wonder why people are also picking a fight with one another. super hypocritical. whatever baby. from kindergarten till now. never ending story. seriously, get a life. but i have matured and not even gonna bother abt such ppl in my life. im just curious.. dont they ever get tired from acting like dat. and acting so lady-like all the time, trying to be perfect and acting as if they are not capable of duing anithing by themselves.

speaking of which, im glad im attached to someone who accepts me as i am. i can be reallie bitchy and mean at times. im tomboyish (dont even mention it). and dats th best part. i can have my physical strength and have a partner who doesnt diss it as being unlady-like. its just me. realli. when i care about someone, i will do my hardest to show that i care. its just those small little things that people don't notice about me.

like how i alwaes end up taking care for food when the climbers go for our outing. make sure that the poeple i care about dont get bullied around. i used to get very upset abt this particularly. bt i have learned how to deal with it in a diplomatic manner where i dont end up hurting any sides.

guess what.. its only 3.47pm now.. yucks. time sure pass slowly when you want to get out of sumwhere real bad =)

2006-05-15T23:20:00.000-07:00

what has been bugging me is work. Piling on top of me like a big pile of smelly shit.

i beg ur pardon for my language, but im seriously dying here.

i even have a blister between my big toe. Pain seh. and i want dorothy perkin's black purse badly. i miss darling.. Today wont get to meet him.

well, i cant wait to knock ff work. Im damn exhausted and i wana crawl back to bed. my pay is gonna come in soon and they better pay me right this month or i am gonna give them hell. other than that, i have already prepared my shopping list.

1. Brown Lourna Climbing tights
2. Topshop blue nautica tote
3. MadRock Shark
4. Jeans
5. Reef slippers
6. Pay off bills

Actually im supposed to pay off my bills first but hu cares... =)

bye bye hiatus... hello nadiah

2006-05-14T02:47:00.000-07:00

well well well..

guess hu's back from her long hiatus...

Happy Mother's Day to All Mothers.. weee~!

Ouh by the wae, happi 6th months ann darls.. love you loads.. muacks..

yesterdae was fun. i went out with my darling... and he wore a shirt.. first tym.. and he looks fantabulously yummy in it.. so we went around bugis and town and i did not grab a single thing. can you believe it? i totally want Dorthy Perkins wallet.. its leather black and ever so lovely.

Shall get it on tuesdae.. aniwaes.. im counting on the day till pumfest 2006.. training hard and i hope it will be worth it.. the very last time i will be ale to enter intermediate cat.. other than that. nothing much has been going on in my life. SIP and training.. more training.. and trying to squeeze whatever tym left with my family and darls.. i have no other time ofr anithing else. im basically to caught up in my SIP.

i just wish i could go back to school.

by the wae, i just hope that people would stop picking a fight by leaving unwanted comments. nope.. not tome.. i was kinda observing some blogs in particular.. some people have the bad habit of commenting on others lifestye. i tynk that it is not needed. and now from what i see this particular person is imitating the person she diss off. like wth? what are you getting at girl?

and now you wanna follow her lifestyle? jealous that she was able to go partying? and now you are sneaking out to party as well.. get a life larh.. commenting that the person dunnoe how to dance but was blogging it all over the place.. NEWSFLASH: you are duing the same now.. the phrase made famous all over again by Alica Keys.. What goes around, comes around. You should kno that better right.

It just disgust me that this person im referring to pretends to be sumone she is not.. be creative and tynk of you own lifestyle to adopt would you? You pretend that you are the most perfect and immaculate girl around. spare me the mouth-watering details.. please.. *rolls eyes*

well fellow readers, thats all i wanted to blog about. *winks*

im back~!

let's scream

2006-03-03T04:20:00.001-08:00

im back~!
with a new and fresh look..
why?
mayb marking a start of a new me..
hahs..

pfft..
im werking..
making money..
but its so tiring.. i fyl like a manual worker..

holidays are here and SIP to follow soon after..
mediacorp?
iduno..
i wonder where i will be duing my sip..
bleahx.. 6 mths no skul..
can i climb..

dun talk abt Rock On! 06
i cant join cos of werk.. eeeee
difficulty climb summore.. kentot btol..
i mish him..